Baiting Lockhart
by lost logic
Summary: No one likes Lockhart, the staff is scared, the headmaster is sulking, and Minerva is about to commit homicide. Why? Because Rolanda Hooch has a plan and Severus Snape is along for the ride. She's gonna see it through to the end, you should too.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This idea just randomly popped into my head when I was supposed to be paying attention in math class… Review to tell me i

A/N: This idea just randomly popped into my head when I was supposed to be paying attention in math class… Review to tell me if you like it and maybe I'll keep it going. If you can think of a better title tell me. -Sloane

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, but did anyone think that I'd say anything different?**

**Baiting Lockhart: Chapter one—A Wager And A Plan.**

It was another rainy Saturday at Hogwarts. The faculty was gathered in the staff room, waiting for Dumbledore to arrive to start the meeting. Most were chatting quietly, some were finishing up some marking, but all were annoyed—very annoyed. And none more so than Rolanda Hooch. She found herself cornered by Gilderoy Lockhart, and really that's never a pleasant experience. So Rolanda, having been abandoned by her colleagues, sat trapped listening to Lockhart do what he did best: brag.

"—And then, get this, the chief actually offers his daughter for my wife! I know, right! And well, as you'd imagine, she was rather disappointed when I declined, but who wouldn't be?" He gave a roguish wink and Rolanda suppressed the urge to gag.

Snape chose that moment to walk towards the door with the intention of finding just what was keeping the Headmaster. Almost to the door, Lockhart intercepted him.

Rolanda smirked. If she had to put up with the witless wonder than Severus would suffer through along with her.

"Severus must know what I'm talking about." Lockhart was oblivious to the death glare he was getting. It was all Rolanda could do to not burst out laughing. She would treasure the look on Severus' face forever. Classic.

" I'm sure you had quite a few witches after you in your day." Snape's eyebrows rose dangerously. Lockhart continued, not noticing his co-worker's icy demeanor.

"Of course, it does come easier to some of us." He paused to beam around the room. "I've got women lining up just to meet me." He nodded knowingly to Rolanda. "I could get any witch I wanted."

This time Rolanda really _did_ start laughing. She quickly tried to pass it off it off as a cough. The buffoon noticed nothing, he just kept grinning.

"Oh really?" Snape had finally succeeded in prying himself from Gilderoy's grip and his tone was glacier-like. "As _fascinating _as that is, I've got—"

"I propose a wager!"

This pronouncement was met with very mixed reactions. Severus raised his eyebrows again, Gilderoy whooped excitedly, and mutters sounded from the remaining staff members. Their attention had been drawn to the conversation when Lockhart had grabbed Snape, and though they'd never admit it, Rolanda knew that it was because they all rather hoped that Snape would curse him.

Rolanda ploughed on, grinning in a Slytherin-esque way, " I bet you couldn't get Minerva McGonagall to fall for you."

Gasps sounded and Poppy Pomfrey shot her a look that foretold a stern talking to.

"Your on!"

Augh, did that man ever _not _smile? She pretended to look at her watch. "Well, there's time now. Perhaps Minerva hasn't left her rooms yet. She may require an escort…" She trailed off looking at Lockhart pointedly.

"I know! I'll escort her!" He flashed them all one more grin and ran off to win the fair Minerva's heart.

As soon as the door snapped shut behind him, Rolanda was bombarded with very loud enquiries.

"What _were_ you thinking? Wait—were you even thinking at all?"

"You know she'll kill you right? She hates him!"

"Hell, she'll kill us all!"

"If we were muggles I would _so_ sue you for the damages that will undoubtedly occur."

Rolanda held up her hands for silence. To everyone's surprise she was smiling.

"Dear Merlin," Whispered Emily Vector, "She's gone 'round the twist."

Rolanda sighed. "I have _not_. Don't look at me like that Filius; I've got a plan."

Snape rolled his eyes. "This had better be good. And quick. They'll be here any moment."

"Well, if you would all stop interrupting me." She shook her head dramatically. "So here it is, no one likes Lockhart, right? So, I figured we'll just unleash the Scottish Storm onto the poor idiot and _BAM_—problem solved."

"We'll be murdered."

"Honestly Pomona, we're the best and brightest in our respective fields. Surely, we can handle something simple like this."

"You know it's true, Ro!" The plump Herbology witch continued, flustered. "Even if by some miracle we survive an angry Minerva, Dumbledore will have our heads after he's done with Lockhart!"

"Exactly."

They stared blankly her. Except Snape, who suddenly understood when he saw Rolanda's smirk.

"Why were you not a Slytherin? That's _golden_."

Rolanda looked rather pleased with her self. "Why thank you."

"What's golden? What's going on?"

He turned to address the rest. "The plan is not just for getting rid of Lockhart; it's for knocking some sense into our employer!" His smirk matched Rolanda's perfectly.

Poppy was still rather confused. "I thought that the thought of those two together made you ill?"

"That was before Albus saw fit to start confiding _everything_ in me and asking for advice. Advice, I tell you!" He shuddered.

"So what do we do?" Squeaked Flitwick. "Lockhart will probably come seeking advice once his first attempts prove fruitless…"

"Just tell him to do the stuff Minerva hates. Like calling her Minnie."

"Brilliant."

"Why, thank you, I like to think so. Everybody in then?"

They all nodded.

"You realize, of course," began Sarah Sinstra, "That if forced we will give your names as the masterminds?"

"What? This is Rolanda's half-baked scheme, not m—"

"Who you calling half-baked, Greasy!?"

"Greasy? I'll have you know I have a scalp condition!"

Quite suddenly the door opened. Rolanda and Severus shut up immediately. Framed in the doorway stood an annoyed Deputy Headmistress, an extremely talkative idiot, and a sulky Headmaster. Perfect. Phase one was complete.

A/N: So how was that? I hoped you all liked it. Review to tell me if I should continue with this or not, and if I should give me some ideas for a new title, please. -Sloane


	2. Chapter 2 an unexpected developpment

A/N: Yay

A/N: Yay! You guys liked it! Wow, that makes me feel happy. Well, thanks for all the reviews, I hope I answered all you questions. You know what I don't understand? How come my most brilliant ideas come when I'm supposed to be doing something else? I got the main part for this chapter when I was supposed to be writing a poem. Needless to say, Mrs. Moxness wasn't too pleased, but really its her own fault for having such a boring lesson plan…oh, perfect now I'm way off topic. You probably all just skipped to the story anyway, but for the benefit of those who didn't, I'll stop now.

**Disclaimer: You know what? JK Rowling owns everything. Honestly. She probably owns me too.**

**Chapter 2: **

Everything was going _exactly_ according to the plan. Hmm, she'd have to think of a name; just calling it the plan was too boring. Maybe she'd ask Severus. He seemed like the kind of guy who'd be good at that…

She was brought back to earth by an abnormally high-pitched laugh. Apparently, Minerva had said something utterly _hilarious_ again. Or maybe not. In the past few days, Lockhart had taken to following her around and laughing that unnatural giggle every single time she opened her mouth. So really, it was more likely that a simple request like 'pass the salt' had set him off.

He laughed again.

Dear Merlin, even some of the students were staring.

A few seats down, Albus stabbed his roast with unnecessary venom. Perfect. It was actually kind of sad to watch this great wizard suffer so. He had become increasingly moody and sullen emerging only from his office when it was absolutely necessary or for meals. His interaction with Minerva had been cut down by the tenfold. She'd have to get Severus to see about that… They wanted him to fight for her, not withdraw from society.

On her right, Rolanda could hear Minerva grinding her teeth. Lockhart didn't notice the way her hand twitched towards her wand every time he spoke.

Actually, little side bets had started up amongst the staff to see what would happen first—Albus tapping into his supply of legendary Gryffindor courage, or Minerva losing control and cursing Lockhart into next week. Most went with the cursing. That wasn't good; they needed him alive to complete the plan. Oh well, she'd figure out that one later.

Rolanda saw the sad looks on her two friends faces and experienced a rare moment of self-doubt. Then Albus cast a sideways glance of heartbreaking proportions down the table at Minerva and just after he turned away Minerva shot him a look of longing. Rolanda immediately swallowed the guilt and stiffened her resolve. They needed some sense knocked into them—that was for sure. And, really, who better qualified to do it than her?

Severus was thinking. Those who took the time to look at him probably thought that the food he was glaring at must have mortally offended him. But he _was _thinking. It was mostly thoughts about the plan at first but then, unbidden images of McGonagall and Dumbledore doing _stuff_ sprang into his mind. And to make matters worse he was pretty sure that Sybil Trelawny was trying to -shudder- flirt with him. As if he would ever date her. He had sworn off all colleagues long ago. Well, maybe not _all_ colleagues… His eyes automatically jumped to Rolanda Hooch. Her eyes were that unique yellow colour, her hair the silver of clouds, framing her face perfectly, and her slightly crooked smile- breathtaking…Wait—CO-WORKER! CO-WORKER! CO-WORKER! He mentally slapped himself. It was no use acting like a bloody teenager again. The voice in the back of his mind was still yelling so, naturally, he yelled back.

"I know!"

There was a momentary pause in conversation all around the hall as staff and student alike turned to stare at him. Damn.

Ironically, it was Sybil who saved him. "I'm glad you agree, Severus. No one else seems to think that pink shawls look good on me." She cast him a glowing look, batting her eyelashes incessantly.

He went back to glaring at his potatoes.

As Severus left the Great Hall, Rolanda finally managed to catch up with him.

"You walk really fast. Did you know that?"

Snape glanced at her. "No actually, but thanks for calling it to my attention."

"Your lucky sarcasm suits you. Filius just can't pull it off."

He gave a small chuckle.

Brightening slightly, she continued. "Anyways, I need to talk to you about"-her voice dropped to a whisper and she looked from side to side-"_the plan._"

Severus only raised his eyebrows so Rolanda continued. "I need you to talk to Albus."

"What? Why?"

"Because he's sulking. Just tell him to smarten the hell up or whatever. Give him some advi—"

"NO. Absolutely not. That's why I said I'd help, so I _wouldn't _have to give him advice, and now you want me to volunteer it? NO WAY." He shook his head to emphasis his point.

Rolanda gave him her best puppy-dog pout. The one so adorable it was sickening. She only used this on the most special of occasions.

Severus tried to resist, but alas, so practiced was Rolanda in the fine art of puppy-dog eyes, that even Snape's heart of stone couldn't help but melt a little.

"Really, how come you weren't a Slytherin?" he grumbled, finally giving in. "All right, all right. I'll do it. Just put that thing away before someone gets hurt."

"Marvelous!" She skipped happily. "Well, these are my rooms, thanks for walking me."

Severus stared. He hadn't even realized they weren't moving towards the dungeons.

"My pleasure." He gave her a swift smile than turned to leave.

"Wait! Severus?"

"Yes?" Damn it, his voice sounded _way _too hopeful for his own liking.

"I was wondering if maybe you could think of a name for the plan? 'The plan' just doesn't sound cool enough."

He snorted slightly. "And I suppose you want code-names too?"

"Well…." She laughed seeing the look on his face. "Calm down, I was kidding."

He had turned to go again when she rushed up to him and gave him a brief hug. "Thanks." She whispered backing off. Then the blushing began. Crap. "Well, night, then." And she entered her rooms without another word.

Severus caught himself grinning stupidly. Augh, he was acting like Lockhart, wasn't he? But really, who could blame him? Those eyes the colour of gold, her hair the silver of a highly polished sickle, and her voice, Merlin, what a voice…Wait—CO-WORKER! CO-WORKER! CO-WORKER!

This was _not_ good.

**A/N: OOOOO, Sevie's got a **_**crush!**_** Hehehe. I do love making him suffer… So next chapter there will be some more MMADness I promise. Tell me if you liked it! And now I'm not only looking for titles, I also need ideas for eyes dart from side to side **_**The Plan**_**. Dun dun duuuuuuuuuun Thunder rolls & lightning crashes. Wow, it's really hard to communicate dramatic music into writing. Anyways, REVIEW!! -Sloane**


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed! And thanks to all those people who have this story on alert or added it to their favorites, I really appreciate it! I feel so loved! And rather hyper now that I think about it… **

**Disclaimer: Its not mine, it never will be, blah, blah, blah, woe is me.**

Chapter 3:

Minerva McGonagall leaned back in her armchair and grabbed a Ginger Newt. Ginger Newts had always been her favourite, ever since that day at the beach with Albus, Rolanda, Filius, and Poppy…she stopped. Thinking about that day was painful right now.

So she focused on how nice it was to have a chance to stop and sit without an idiotic pretty boy talking her ear off. Not that she'd ever speak ill of her colleagues or anything… Ahem.

That brought her back to the problem: Lockhart. Honestly, how did he expect her do get any work done if he kept interrupting her class all the time? Really, wasn't there another person in this God-forsaken castle he could drive crazy? Didn't he have anything better to do? Hair to curl? Annoyingly long-winded books to write? Maybe an actual class to teach? Apparently not, as he had started following her around like a bloody puppy dog—an extremely loud, overly confident, blonde and glittery, puppy dog.

No wonder she was a cat person.

She wondered why he had taken a sudden interest in _her_ of all people. She had never thought herself pretty, and Lockhart didn't seem like the kind of bloke who went for brains. For a brief moment she wondered if Rolanda had had anything to do with this… But no, surely not, even Rolanda wasn't _that_ crazy…Right?

She sat and mulled over this possibility, getting angrier by the second before she remembered. It couldn't have been Rolanda. Rolanda always had tried to get Albus and her together, and she wasn't the kind to have sudden changes of heart.

Albus.

She sighed. Once Lockhart had started popping up everywhere, Albus had just mysteriously melted out of the way. She wished he hadn't, he would have been able to get Gilderoy to leave her alone. And quite besides that, she missed him. He was her best friend. She loved him; every part—well, the lemon drop fetish she could do without, but his eccentric personality was what made him, him. The man she had been in love with since she was seventeen. Oh great, now she was going to get all nostalgic. Wonderful.

Severus swept down the hallways to the headmaster's office. It was the third time this week that he was late for supper and he knew that if Poppy had come up here to get Albus that he might never have gotten as good a chance to talk to him like Rolanda asked.

"Ginger Newts!"

Severus rolled his eyes at the password. Could Dumbledore have chosen a more obvious password? That was the one he reserved for when Minerva was mad at him, the one that made her smile. Severus had no idea _why_ it made her smile, but then again, maybe he didn't want to know.

He took a deep breath and then knocked on the door briefly before entering. Albus was at his desk popping lemon drops into his mouth and staring at what seemed to be an old photograph. Severus' curiosity got the better of him as his friend tried to hide it. He quickly summoned it. The photograph flew from Dumbledore's outstretched hands and landed promptly in Severus' grasp.

Oh Lord.

Albus seemed to be closing in on him, but Severus only held up one hand silently to stop him. His eyes were still trained on the picture.

It seemed to have been taken when Minerva had first started teaching; he checked the back for a date, two years before he had even came to Hogwarts. The edges were bent and ripped, as if the photo had been handled many times over the years.

In the photo, a young Minerva McGonagall got out from one of the thesteral drawn carriages and looked up beaming. Severus had never seen here so beautiful. Her hair was down, long and black. Her emerald eyes sparkled and her face lit up as she grinned. And suddenly his eyes were drawn to the man, the only man, who could make her smile like that.

Albus Dumbledore all but ran down to meet her, almost stumbling on his robes. Minerva met him halfway and they hugged fiercely, before staring deep into each other's eyes. Albus looked like he started to say something. Severus felt the anticipation growing in spite of himself.

Then, Minerva saw the photographer, and the spell was broken.

The heartbreaking little scene played over and over again.

Severus gapped. Why the hell hadn't anything happened after this? He watched again. Then Albus snatched it out of his hands.

His sat behind his desk with his head in his hands. "Any reason you are here, Severus?"

Snape swallowed. "I came to see why you weren't at supper, the others were quite concerned."

Dumbledore didn't look up. "Well, as you can see, I am perfectly fine. So, if there is nothing else you wish to discuss, I have some important business to attend to…"

Snape snorted. "Like what? Sulking?" He shook his head. "Forgive me sir, but you're being an idiot."

Dumbledore finally looked up. He opened his mouth angrily and then shut it again. He nodded. "Your right. I am an idiot, and now it is too late."

Severus resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"Perhaps, if you confide in me," He fought to keep his voice calm, "We may be able to reach a solution."

Dumbledore said nothing and Snape had just started to ask if he had heard him when he finally replied.

"IaminlovewithMinerva."

"Oh, really?"

Dumbledore frowned at his sarcasm.

"If you love her why don't you just tell her?"

"Because," said Dumbledore as if stating the obvious, "She doesn't love me. She likes that-that…man…" He looked at his desk again.

Severus silently prayed for the strength to not curse his employer. "She doesn't love _him_."

"And how do you know?"

Snape just looked at him. "Maybe the fact that she can't stand him?"

"But-but they're _always_ together."

"Only because Lockhart is too much of an idiot to see that she's crazy for someone else. Like certain others who shall remain unnamed."

"Great! So I never even had a chance! She loves someone else…I knew it." He looked down again.

Snape inwardly marveled at just how incredibly intelligent the man could be in some areas and so incredibly dim in others.

"IT'S YOU SHE'S IN LOVE WITH!"

Albus' expression changed from one of despair to one hopeful and happy in a split-second. "Really? Why didn't she say anything?"

"Because," began Snape with an air of forced calm, "She, like you, is lacking that legendary Gryffindor courage at certain times."

"What should I do?"

"Tell her."

Dumbledore scoffed. "I can't very well just stand up at dinner and be all 'Minerva I love you', we need a plan."

"We?" Said Severus in a weak voice. "Is my help really necessary?"

"Of course! So I was thinking…" And he was off, explaining his extremely detailed ideas. Severus sat resigned for the long run.

Rolanda was _sooo_ going to owe him.

When Severus was finally freed three hours later, he immediately headed to the staff room. He knew Rolanda and the others would be there and he had a lot to tell them. When he entered all conversation stopped. Then the staff realized who it was.

"Severus!" It was Rolanda. She pulled him to the small couch by the fireplace that she had just vacated. Everyone else pulled chairs closer to hear what he had to say.

"So?" prompted Sarah Sinstra, "What happened?"

He told them the story of the photograph and afterwards he could see that Poppy had tears in her eyes and that Rolanda looked thoughtful.

"What?" he asked.

Rolanda looked at him. "I think I've seen that picture. Was the upper left hand corner bent badly?"

Severus nodded.

"I did. Remember that time that Minerva had to leave for like a month when her mother fell ill? You were there, Poppy, it's that photo he always carried around!"

"Yes," said Poppy, nodding, "Never went anywhere without it, did he? That was when you first started thinking up schemes to get them together."

Rolanda nodded absently, not really listening. Suddenly she turned to Severus once more.

"So what's he going to do?"

"He has a plan of sorts…" Severus blinked at the eager faces. They looked like that Granger girl faced with the prospect of a new theory or project. It was rather unnerving.

"Annnnnddd?"

"And he finally admitted to being in love with her and I managed to convince him that he's got to do something about it."

There was an explosion of noise.

Rolanda grinned her lopsided grin at him and Severus couldn't help but smile in return.

Her happiness was infectious.

After it had quieted down, Rolanda decided it was time to get down to business.

"All right you lot, calm down." She used her teaching voice; brisk and business-like, but the grin she wore made it almost unnoticeable.

"Pomona? You said that Lockhart came for help?"

"Oh yes, he wanted to know what flower Minerva preferred. I told him pansies. She absolutely hates them _and_ they make her sneeze."

"Well done! And you Filius?"

"Well when Gilderoy came to me for advice, as you said he would, he asked for any special tidbits of information I could offer. And naturally, I told him Minerva prefers being addressed as Minnie, loves butterscotch pudding, hates quidditch, thinks cats are dirty and unintelligent, that her favorite colour is fuchsia, and that she'll probably want a big, flashy gift for any upcoming holidays. Oh, and that he should try to impress her more."

"Wow. Good job, that'll keep him out of our hair for a while."

She laughed and joked with the rest of the staff and Severus caught himself staring. Really, how could someone be so full of life? He had seen his share of hardship, and knew she had too; and yet here she was, never dwelling on the past and always ready with a joke. He kind of wished he could be more like that.

Rolanda felt Severus' eyes on her and turned, rather enjoying the sensation.

"Hey, how's that 'special project' coming?"

"Ooo, special project?" inquired Emily Vector, "Do tell."

"Well apart from the whole Dumbledore advice thing, Severus' job this week was to think of a name for the" she glanced from side to side as per custom, "plan."

"Oh yes," said Severus, "I came up with a few, but really, I like just calling it the plan."

"Oh, you're no fun. Come on, then! What did you think up?"

"Umm, what about project L?"

"L?" Rolanda looked at him in disbelief. "That's the best you could come up with?"

"Yup."

"Didn't even try did you?" Rolanda chuckled.

Suddenly Severus was worried that she thought that he thought that what she said hadn't been important. And after he managed to work out what that thought meant, he promptly replied: "No! I meant L because so many things involved start with L."

Rolanda's eyebrows rose skeptically. "Like what?"

"Like…" Severus looked around the room, at all the other staff members, trying to think. "Lockhart. That starts with L, and part of it is getting rid of him."

"And?" Rolanda was rather enjoying the look on Severus' face.

"And? Umm, Lemon drops! Yeah, Lemon drops. Because they're pretty much a symbol of Dumbledore's, uh, Dumbledore-y-ness."

Rolanda was shaking with silent laughter. "Dumbledore-y-ness?"

"And L for lioness, because there is no doubt in my mind that Minerva McGonagall acts just like lioness. Wrath and everything."

They all were nodding along—they _definitely_ agreed with the wrath part.

Rolanda was smiling as she turned once again to face Severus.

"And L for love." She said quietly.

Severus swallowed. "L for love." He agreed.

Yellow eyes met black ones, and they sat there just looking deep into each other.

Emily Vector, Sarah Sinstra, Poppy Pomfrey, and Pomona Sprout exchanged conspiratorial glances. What an interesting development.

Filius coughed.

Severus jumped off the couch, his usually pale face flushing. "I think I, uh, left my cauldron on. I'll see you all tomorrow. Bye." He fled the room without looking back.

Rolanda sat there puzzled. What the hell was the matter with her? Why did she have to go and freak him out? He didn't even like her, and here she was all—wait. What was she doing? She didn't even like him…right?

She turned and caught sight of the others looks. Some were disbelieving, others smug, but all seemed the kind too ready for a good round of questioning. Damn.

"Well, I'm awfully tired." She hastily faked a yawn. "I'm off to bed. Keep on with operation L, then. Night." She walked out the door and through the halls as quickly as she could without running. All the while thinking about what had happened. She couldn't be falling in love with Severus…

Could she?

**A/N: So how was that? Took me a while to write it…I should probably plan these things out better, shouldn't I? Oh Well. Review! You know you wanna… Press that little purpley-blue rectangular button. Please?**


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Yay Reviewers

A/N: Yay Reviewers! I 3 you! And yes it was a not so subtle hint.

**Disclaimer: I'm going to have some serious self-esteem issues once this obsession with fanfic passes… I think a line was stolen from one of the Shrek movies so I OWN NOTHING! Angst.**

**Chapter 4:**

Minerva awoke early, she always did. It was, in her opinion, the prettiest time of day. She looked out the window and, with a cup of tea in hand, set back to watch the sunrise.

She looked at her clock and found that it was time to get up.

For being such a morning person, leaving the comforts of her bed was _not_ something she looked forward to—even more so these past few weeks, with all the attacks and considering she seemed to have grown an extra shadow. She thought it would be easier to be optimistic about the situation if Gilderoy Lockhart would just leave her alone.

She had tried everything._ Everything_. And instead of being put off by her behavior, he merely became more infuriating.

She walked down to the Great Hall slowly, savoring the last few moments of quiet her day would contain. She closed her eyes to listen. The soft sounds of students moving floors above and muffled chatter from within the hall already reached her ears and then—

Gilderoy. Damn it.

"Why hello my beautiful Tabby! How are you this morning? I'm having a great day now that I'm with you." He seemed sincere, and she might have considered laughing in his face had this not happened so many times before.

"Augh." She rolled her eyes. "My name is _Minerva_. M-I-N-E-R-V-A. Really, it's not that hard. Try it with me. Min-"

"Min" His smile was blinding her.

"Er"

"Er" He didn't realize that she was being mean. He probably thought this was some fun new game.

"Va"

"Va" Honestly, who wore glitter?

"Minerva. Never call me Min or Minnie or -shudder- tabby again. Ever."

He was still smiling. Obviously, those people at Witch Weekly had never spent a long time with him, she certainly wouldn't have voted for him. Most charming smile? More like creepiest.

"Whatever you say Minnie dearest!"

I must not kill Lockhart. Must not kill Lockhart. Albus will be angry I must not kill him. Must not kill—was he wearing lip-gloss??

He saw her staring and grinned even wider. Ew.

"Its cherry flavour! Wanna taste?" He winked and she almost gagged.

Looking around for an escape, she saw Rolanda out of the corner of her eye.

"Rolanda is calling me, I've got to go." She ducked his now puckered lips and still muttering her new mantra, strode to the head table.

Rolanda looked up from her toast at the arrival of Minerva.

"I must not kill Lockhart. Must not kill Lockhart.

"Having some trouble Minerva?" Laughed Rolanda.

"Really, Its not funny at all. He won't leave me alone!"

Rolanda just shook her head.

"Rolanda," Minerva started as if a thought had just came to her, "_you_ wouldn't know anything about this perchance?" Her eyes were narrowed.

Rolanda gulped. "Nope. I have no idea why the brainless git has attached himself to your hip. Maybe he just has a crush on you…"

Minerva snorted.

"What?" said Rolanda, "It could happen!"

Minerva rolled her eyes. "Sure. That'll happen the day you fall in love with Severus Snape." She chuckled at her own joke.

Rolanda looked down. She could feel Minerva's eyes burning into her, waiting for something. Her eyes flickered to where Severus sat a few seats down. It was a split second glance, no normal person would have thought anything of it, but then again, Rolanda reminded herself bitterly, Minerva McGonagall could never be counted amongst the normal.

"OH MY GOD!"

"Shhhh!" hissed Rolanda. "The students are looking!"

It was ironic that she, Rolanda Hooch, was telling Minerva McGonagall to behave—the exact opposite happened much more frequently.

Minerva stood up and grabbed Rolanda's arm. "Come on!"

Rolanda barely had time to grab her toast before she was dragged out of the hall and away from the startled glances.

Professors Sinstra, Vector, Sprout, and Madam Pomfrey exchanged looks as Minerva marched Rolanda from the Great hall. What if Minerva had found out about operation L or whatever the hell it was called? What if Rolanda was being taken from the hall for a punishment to great for the students to witness? They had to save her.

The four witches got up from the table and with a brief shake of the head to Severus, who had also risen from his seat, followed Minerva.

Upon entering her rooms, which were closest, Minerva sat Rolanda firmly on the couch and then plopped herself in the chair right across from her.

"Ok." She breathed, "Tell me what's going on."

Rolanda took her time swallowing her toast. She was not looking forward to this conversation.

Suddenly Emily Vector, Sarah Sinstra, Poppy Pomfrey and Pomona Sprout barged in.

"Don't kill her! It's our fault too!"

"But don't kill us either, ok?"

"We knew all about it, it wasn't just Rolanda!"

"You knew?" asked Minerva.

"Of course!" Replied Sarah. "She came straight to us with it."

Minerva turned to Rolanda looking slightly hurt. "Why didn't you just tell me? I'm ok with it."

"Umm…"

"You're ok with it?" Pomona was stunned. "Seriously?"

"Why wouldn't I be ok with it? It's Rolanda's business after all. Wait," she paused. "What _are _you talking about?"

"We were talking about operation—" Emily stopped. Rolanda was signaling quite vehemently for her to shut up. Minerva raised one eyebrow.

Poppy stepped in. "What are _you_ talking about?"

"Oh, I was talking about Rolanda being in love with Severus."

"What?!"

"Squeeeeeeeee"

"Awwww, that's sooo cute!"

"Are you serious?"

"OOO, Sybil's got some competition!"

"I don't believe it!"

"I know right? I didn't see it coming either!"

Rolanda buried her face in her hands.

"Rolanda and Severus sittin' in a tree!"

"K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

"First comes lov—"

Rolanda's muffled cry of "I am NOT in love with Severus Snape!" cut them off mid song.

"Pfft." Said Sarah. "You are so."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"AM NOT!!"

Minerva finally intervened. "Settle down you two. We have to talk about this like semi-responsible adults, not first years."

Sinstra nodded. "Ok, just let me relive my youth for one more moment." She turned to Rolanda. "ARE TOO!" Then she stuck out her tongue. "HA!"

Poppy rolled her eyes. "How very mature."

"I like to think so."

"Anyway," said Emily loudly, "We're here to get to the bottom of this are we not?"

"Let the questioning commence!" cried Pomona. "Thank Merlin it's a Saturday…"

Rolanda groaned. "Really, guys. I do not, have not, will not, love Severus Snape. Ever."

"Well it's too late for that now isn't it?" remarked Minerva.

"Yeah. Come on Rolanda, we've seen the way you look at him."

"And the way he looks at you. We're not stupid, you know."

"Honestly! We're friends! We look at each other because we're friends. It's purely platonic."

"Right. And Sybil and I are best mates from way back."

Rolanda gritted her teeth. "This is not the time for sarcasm, Minerva."

"No, you're right, it's a time for confession. So confess."

"There's _nothing_ to confess!"

"Come now Rolanda," Said Pomona, "Be reasonable. We're not above forcing veritaserum down your throat. Or we'll make you play word association…"

Sarah laughed. "Yeah! You remember what we got Minerva to confess don't you?"

"What?"

"Oh," she turned to Minerva, "That's right. You probably don't remember; you were _really_ drunk."

"Marvelous.'

"Yeah, it was really funny…"

"Focus!" yelled Poppy.

"Are you or are you not in love with Snape?"

"No."

"Rolanda, come on. I have been an educator for a very, very long time. Tell the truth."

Rolanda buried her head again. "Maeedfbbdsdssaaalhfds"

"I'm sorry, you'll have to speak up. And this time maybe in a language we can understand?"

Rolanda glared at Emily, who smiled sweetly in return.

She took a deep breath and with a face that had turned a lovely shade of scarlet said "Maybe a little bit…"

And there was much rejoicing.

**A/N: Sorry its been so long updating. Can anybody tell me how to put those breaker things in? I hope you all liked this chapter. Tell me if you did and tell me if you didn't because reviews love. -Sloane**


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Thanks to you guys who reviewed! And for the advice on breakers, I hope it works this time! Well, here it is updated, and I must say, I'm suffering from a rather severe case of writer's block so sorry if it's not very good. My muse seems to have left me. Damn that Simon and his fickle ways…

**Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize. Which is probably everything.**

Chapter 5:

Severus had a terrible headache. All he wanted was to go back to his nice dark dungeon and chug a potion to stop this infernal pounding. But, alas, he still had that stupid meeting with Dumbledore to look forward to. Yippee.

He drug his tired body up the stairs trying to think as little as possible. It's not like he had any control over the whole "Chamber of Secrets" situation. No one even really understood it—except Dumbledore, but that man wasn't normal. He knew pretty much everything that went on in the castle, not that he was willing to share. Severus had been one of the many teachers who had requested an answer and had received the standard 'the Chamber of Secrets is indeed open' speech.

But as he reached the gargoyle, he knew that pressing Albus for more would be futile. This particular meeting was for Albus' personal problems, not the school.

The password this week was 'message hearts' and Severus once again marveled at the insanity of his employer. _Probably some stupid muggle candy._

"Enter!"

Dumbledore's office was a mess to say the least. There were papers strewn everywhere, Fawkes' stand needed to be cleaned, small candies and broken quills littered the floor, and there seemed to be a sock hanging from one of the ornate portraits. And sitting in the middle of it, oblivious to the disaster around him, sat the most powerful wizard since Merlin himself.

The pounding in Snape's ears increased by the tenfold. _Think happy thoughts. A beach at sunset, the soft simmering of headache cure, Rolanda…_

"Ah Severus! Excellent, you're here. Now we can start. Valentine's Day is soon, and I was wondering…"

But Snape was no longer listening. _Valentine's Day? I completely forgot! Would it be weird to get a gift for Rolanda? Yes, defiantly. Well, maybe something small would be ok—_

"Hello? Anybody there?"

"Sorry I was thinking."

"About a certain yellow-eyed, quidditch-playing witch?" Said Dumbledore slyly.

"How…?" Severus was stunned. Since when was Dumbledore sly? He would have noticed if Albus had used legimancy, right?

"Oh, Severus. I know almost _everything_ that goes on here… and anybody with eyes could see the way you two act. But focus! First you help me with Minerva and then I'll help you with Rolanda. What do you think about chocolates?"

* * *

Rolanda was **not** having a good time. Ever since the 'incident' in Minerva's rooms, she couldn't get a minute of peace. In the Great Hall she had made the mistake of sitting next to Severus. Sure enough, within two minutes, Emily had filled the seat on her left and next to her sat Sarah. Rolanda sighed. Let the torture commence.

* * *

Minerva was stuck in her usual seat, sandwiched between Lockhart and Dumbledore, who were battling it out for her attention. She, however, was steadfastly ignoring them and instead using the time to send Rolanda an assortment of looks; their meanings ranging from: _I told you so _to: _I wish I was closer so I could mock you properly_ to the ever popular: _save me from this glittery idiot_.

* * *

Rolanda was having a hard time feeling sympathetic. It was Minerva who had made her confess. _She_ was the reason Rolanda wasn't able to deny her feelings for Severus anymore. It was Minerva's fault that Rolanda was suddenly aware of just how close she and Snape were. Minerva was to blame when her cheeks flared up and her nerves tingled every time Severus' arm brushed hers. And it _definitely_ was her fault that now Rolanda understood what these things meant and her fault that Emily and Sarah had been reduced to older versions of Pavarti Patil and Lavender Brown. Damn Minerva and her attention to detail. Damn those bloody butterflies she got in her stomach every time Snape so much as looked at her. Damn Emily and Sarah and their giggles. Damn Lockhart. Damn plan. Who came up with such a stupid plan in the first place? That was the reason she was in this whole mess! Oh, right… Damn.

* * *

In retrospect, Severus was having a marvelous time. He was straining to hear what Emily and Sarah were whispering and giggling about and why Rolanda was sending them such murderous looks. He didn't even notice that Sybil was loudly fishing for complements on his other side. He noticed that Rolanda had blushed when their arms had touched. He spent the rest of the evening doing it over and over just to see her reaction. His food may have gotten cold, but Snape barely noticed. He was content. Tomorrow was Valentine's Day, and although Severus maintained the fact that it was a useless holiday and was stupid in every aspect, he couldn't help but feel a little anticipation. Tomorrow Albus' plan went into action. Tomorrow would be Lockhart's downfall. Tomorrow would be the day he would put himself on the line.

* * *

**A/N: ok, I know it's really short. I'm sorry. But hey, Valentine's Day deserves it's own chapter with all the wonderful goings-on. So, be patient and review if there is anything you want me to include. -Sloane**


	6. Chapter 6 drowning in pink

**A/N: I'm baaaaaccccckkkkk! You know, it's weird. I can't so much as type a creative sentence for forever and then exam time rolls around and BAM! My muse, Simon, is back and just won't leave me alone. And so, I'm using my study time to write this. It's a hell of a lot more interesting then math revue…ON WITH THE SHOW!**

**Disclaimer: pfft. Like for a second you thought it belongs to me… part of it is even stolen from pg. 176 of CoS.**

* * *

**Chapter six: DROWNING IN PINK. DUN DUN DUUUUUNNNNNN **

_Oh My God. _

Minerva wondered if she was finally going senile. Or colour blind. Or if someone had switched her glasses for ones with pink lenses again. But, no, that couldn't be it—the Marauders weren't at school anymore and the Weasley twins looked just as disgusted as she did…

_Well, I guess we can rule out that it's just me…_

She caught site of Rolanda at the staff table wincing as she pinched herself over and over.

Minerva marched purposefully towards the front of the room. She had a bone to pick with a certain loveable headmaster. He'd put an end to this foolishness. And if he didn't than she would put an end to him. Just before she reached Albus, something stirred within her memory…

It had been less than a week ago. She had, tired and exasperated, been trying to shake off the ever-present Lockhart. He had started rambling about how _he_ was the reason the attacks had suddenly stopped quite so time before. All she had wanted to do was get her second years to their next class. He then, had gone on about moral boosting or something to that effect. He turned suddenly and left, and Minerva had been so relieved that she had forgotten all about it.

She smacked a hand to her forehead. _Stupid, Stupid, Stupid!_

Gilderoy waved brightly to her and she replied with her best glare—the one that frequently reduced seventh year Slytherins to tears and made the likes of Severus Snape retreat to his dungeons. He gulped.

Rolanda was still in a state of shock when Minerva sat beside her.

"Minerva?" her voice was so quiet that it startled even herself.

"Yes?" Minerva looked at her concernedly, "Are you all right?"

Rolanda shook her head. "Will you pinch me? Please?"

McGonagall rolled her eyes. "No, Rolanda, I will not. You know very well that Poppy would start lecturing us or something."

"Please? I can't feel it when I do it anymore."

"Merlin! How long have you been pinching yourself?! It's starting to bruise already!"

Rolanda shrugged. Then her eyes widened and a slow grin spread over her face. It was quite frightening, really. Not as frightening as the muscle that was twitching along Minerva's jaw-line, but frightening none the less.

"Can you imagine the look on Severus' face when he sees this?! It's going to be classic!"

Minerva chuckled, which was quite a feat considering what was happening and her lips being so thin. "Where is that Creevey kid when you need him?"

Rolanda giggled along until they remembered that Colin had been attacked. That certainly killed what was left of their good moods. They collapsed into silence.

Fortunately, they didn't have to wait long for Snape. And rest assured, they were _not _disappointed.

* * *

Severus had awoken that morning with a sense of purpose and a feeling hopeful. Actually, the hopefulness had taken a while to register. Valentine's Day was not a day Severus was accustomed to look forward to. But, today would go well; he had the perfect plan.

Get dressed.

Eat breakfast.

Make sure Albus doesn't ruin anything.

Give Rolanda her card.

Make sure Rolanda sees the card.

Make sure Trelawny sees the card. That'll stop her.

Get Albus and Minerva together.

Kick the idiot when he's down and proceed to crush his spirit even more.

Bask in the glow of it all.

He could do it. In fact, it seemed ridiculously easy. Number seven might be a little more work but the others were a piece of cake. Lockhart? Pfft. That git was as good as gone, Severus was sure of it. Right up until he entered the Great Hall. He stopped dead in his tracks. He hadn't had this nightmare in quite a while…

He slowly made his way to his seat. He could feel his eyes popping and one of his teeth actually cracked, he was clenching them so hard. Snape couldn't even put together a coherent thought.

"Kill…Lockhart…no mercy…"

"Now, now, Severus," said Filius, "Be nice. He only wanted to help I'm sure."

"Help?! How the hell would this help anything?!"

"Well, the school has been rather downhearted these past few months and—"

But the culprit of the heinous crime that surrounded them interrupted Flitwick. Lockhart stood, positively beaming, and called for attention.

"Happy Valentine's Day! And may I thank the forty-six people who have sent me cards!"

_Forty-six? It's not even nine o'clock yet!_

But the git didn't sit down. He remained, arms raised and beaming, shouting to the thoroughly disgusted crowd.

"Yes, I have taken the liberty of arranging this little surprise for you all—and it doesn't end here!"

_What else could there possibly be? You know what, who cares? I'm going to murder him anyways. _

"My friendly card-carrying cupids!" He paused to grin toothily.

_Oh, hell no._

"They will be roving around the school today delivering your Valentines!"

_Why didn't Albus stop this? Oh no, most powerful wizard since Merlin and all he does is sit there… He probably approved this! Damn him! Now I have to kill him too!_

"And the fun doesn't stop there!" continued Lockhart. "I'm sure my colleagues will want to enter into the spirit of the occasion! Why not ask Professor Snape to show you how to whip up a love potion!" _Say What?_ "And while you're at it, Professor Flitwick knows more about Entrancing Enchantments than I've ever met, the sly old dog!"

Filius buried his head in his hands as Severus mentally resolved that any student who so much as said love potion in his class would join Lockhart and Dumbledore in death. He was the potions master and a former death-eater (although he wasn't proud of it.) after all, and to make it look like an accident would be almost too simple…

* * *

When Minerva left the hall, she heard Severus mutter something about poison as he shook the confetti out of his hair. By her third class she was wondering if she could get in on that plan. The dwarfs interrupted her class every five minutes and then Minerva had to spend another ten after they left glaring to quell the giggles. The whole thing was a waste of time, really. Although, it _had_ been funny when the one with the poem for Alicia Spinnet from Lee Jordan had shown up. But other than that little highlight, what did Lockhart think he was doing? _He_ might not have had teaching to do; Merlin knows he didn't any other day of the week, but other teachers did! And more importantly, why didn't Albus put a stop to this in the first place? She had some very strong words for him for later this evening. Very strong.

Minerva had just restarted explaining the stages of transformation of a guinea fowl to guinea pigs for the fifth time, when the seventh dwarf of the class burst in.

She sighed. How many admirers could fourths years have? Well, they _were_ Gryffindors, but still! She waited impatiently, tapping her foot, for it to be over. But to her surprise and chagrin, the dwarf didn't veer off to stand in front of one of the desks, but made a beeline for the front of the room. That couldn't bode well.

"Yes?" sniffed Minerva. "May I help you?"

"Yup," answered the dwarf gruffly, "You M'nerva McG'nagall?"

"Professor McGonagall, if you please." Minerva insisted.

"Well, _professor_," he sneered, "I got here a poem from one—" he checked his list "Professor Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League and five times winner of _Witch Weekly's _Most charming smile award."

The class sniggered and Minerva sent them a glare that quieted them before turning on the dwarf-cupid thing.

"Can we not do this here? Or at all?"

The dwarf smiled meanly. "Nope, _professor_. I'm under strict orders to do it here and now."

"Well, I guess we'll be changing the rules, now won't w—"

But the dwarf had already started.

"**You teach transfigurations,**

**I repeatedly save entire nations.**

**You're a virtual unknown, but that's ok.**

**I'm special enough for us both anyway!**

**We'd look good together, **

**Just look into **

**My eyes, baby blue, **

**And you'll know that it's true.**

**And remember, there are thousands of women who**

**Would kill to be in the same position as you. **

**Remember, I'm magnificent.**

**We both know it. **

**I've proven myself not just a hero, **

**But a talented poet. **

**I'll be your magnificent lover,**

**All nations will love her, **

**As I, the great Lockhart do, too.**

**Say yes my sweet darling, do not be shy,**

**Though I know I'm not just any old guy.**

**I'm a hero, I know it, **

**But even though you aren't**

**Don't let my fame keep us apart.**

**I'll protect you forever, **

**My sweet Minerva.**

**At the end of each day, **

**I'll sweep you into my arms to stay.**

**Provided there are no helpless villagers that say, **

"**O help us Lockhart, we need you to save us"**

**Never fear, my little Minnie, I will leave you only thus;**

**Only a fearsome monster shall separate us.**

**Be not shy of my greatness, **

**For even you, plain though you are, **

**Have tempted me, my sweet, **

**Now come and join me,**

**And I do not mean for afternoon tea.**

**I love you my pet, my sweet honey bean.**

**So do not delay, **

**Answer me today.**

**Though you do not need to, **

_**I know what you'll say.**_

_**Love, Gilderoy."**_

There was a stunned silence as the dwarf skipped down the isle and out the door. The students' mouths were hanging open and Minerva knew that hers was probably too. She tried several times to say something, but no sound came out.

Then the bell rang, saving her.

"Umm, class dismissed…"

There was a scramble to the door and in the confusion she was almost sure that the Weasley twins each gave her a wink in perfect unison.

Hot anger burst forth from the cold disbelief that had been there before. She was going to _murder_ him. And that Dwarf too. Maybe she'd bludgeon Lockhart with the dwarf… that could work…

So narrowing her eyes, and putting on her best menacing glare, she set off in search of the soon-to-be-late Lockhart. She was going to kill him.

**A/N: So what did you think?? Likey? ATTENTION: the poem belongs to my friend Molly, whose new name is POEM-YODA. If you love the poem, send hearts for Molly, and I'll make sure she gets them. Part two of valentine's day shall be up soon…I hope. I love all you guys who reviewed! -Sloane**


	7. Chapter 7 VDAY PT2

**A/N: and here it is- part two of Valentine's Day. So we all know what Minerva's day was like, and this chapter will cover Severus, Albus, and Rolanda. And thanks to all you who reviewed, they're what keep me going.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned it, I would insist that the movies be better.**

**Chapter 7- V-Day part 2**

* * *

Severus was livid. If Rolanda's stupid plan didn't work soon, they'd have to find another Lockhart. What had Gilderoy thinking when he organized this? But then again, Severus reminded himself, that was the problem—Lockhart didn't think. How he was the dream guy of so many women Severus would never know…

He gasped. Women.

He hadn't sent Rolanda's card thing yet.

He hurriedly left the table and was headed towards the doors when Lockhart accosted him.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Professor!" Honestly, how he could show all those teeth at the same time?

"I trust you are enjoying yourself? Marvelous, marvelous…" He continued, oblivious to Snape's obvious loathing.

Snape took several deep breaths. He silently walked away from an unfazed Lockhart, turning back at the doors to the entranceway just long enough to send a particularly nasty jinx back to the unsuspecting idiot. That'd teach him to turn his back on Severus Snape.

He left the hall shaking the dratted pink confetti from his hair and trying to decide on the best poison. That one that made the drinker's blood boil had its merits…

He proceeded to the dungeons and hastily sent off Rolanda's valentine with the first owl he could find. It was an elderly barn owl and Severus found himself hoping that it would hold off on dying long enough to deliver and leave Rolanda's presence. As the bird flew away, the bell rang, signaling his first class. They had better not ask about love potions…

But apparently, the students all knew better than provoke him. If only the dwarfs were the same…The first dwarf that tried to enter his classroom was stunned. The second was hit with a nasty jelly legs jinx and a silencio charm. By the seventh and eighth, he had stopped going for variety. He hit the rest of them with the same toenail growth hex that Lockhart had gotten earlier that morning. He suspected the dwarfs had warned their fellows, because his class was not interrupted again.

He ate dinner by himself, not wanting to return to the Great Hall. He'd be finding heart-shaped confetti for weeks as it was. No, he'd wait and confront Albus tonight in the staff room.

* * *

Albus Dumbledore hummed merrily to himself as he strolled down the corridors of Hogwarts. He had just put the finishing touches on his gift for Minerva and was now on his way to the staff room.

Suddenly, he sensed someone watching him. He kept walking, and humming, but more alert than before.

There was a thump from behind him and he spun around to find not death-eaters, but Fred and George Weasley. He was perhaps the one of four people who could tell them apart at a glance living at Hogwarts.

They gulped at the same time and Albus chuckled. He supposed he must look rather frightening—wand out, eyes blazing, and hair flying everywhere.

"What may I do for you two gentlemen?" He asked kindly, lowering his wand, "You know curfew was 20 minutes ago. It's dangerous being out this late these days."

George was the first to recover. "Well, you see sir, we have some information that might be of use to you."

"Oh? And how much will this information cost me?" He inquired.

"Not much, professor," said Fred, "Just the excuse for being late tonight—"

George picked up where he left off. "—And two get-out-of-detention-free-cards each."

Dumbledore gave a low whistle. "I'm not sure it's worth it. You know, the last time I let you two out of detention my lemon drops went missing for a week and a half."

"Trust us," said the twins in unison, "It's worth it."

"Well," Albus took his time considering it. " How about I let the curfew thing slide, and you get _one_ get-out-of-detention each and three lemon drops?"

The twins looked at each other. "Three each?" asked Fred.

"Yes."

"Done."

"So what is this important information I must know?"

"Lockhart is totally mackin' on your woman!" exclaimed Fred.

"He's doing what to what woman?!"

"Macking, sir."

"And what, pray tell, is macking?"

"He's hitting on McGonagall!" clarified George.

Albus was outraged. "He _hit_ her?! How dare he?! Is she all right? Merlin, he actually hit Minerva McGonagall?! Wait, is _he_ all right? Because he definitely won't be when I'm finished, that's a promise! Thank you for telling me boys, now off to bed. Hit Minerva, I swear…" He turned and began stalking down the hallway.

"WAIT!" cried the Weasleys.

Dumbledore turned. "There's more?"

"You've got it wrong," said George.

"Yeah, we said hitting _on _McGonagall, not hitting her!" continued Fred.

"What's the difference?"

The twins palm-faced.

"A lot actually," said Fred.

"Fred, we need to explain this in terms that he can understand."

"Got it."

"Ok sir, pay close attention. Fred is Professor McG, and I'm Lockhart…Ew."

"La la la la, I love transfiguration, la la la la." Fred sang in a falsetto voice. "Why hello there, Professor Lockhart. You are very, very annoying and I do not like you at all, in fact, I would like to hex/jinx you, but I am going to hide my loathing because it's the polite thing to do. I do hope you don't interpret my feelings incorrectly."

"Good afternoon, Professor McGonagall. I have decided that because you are civil to me, you must be in love with me. Well, who wouldn't be? I think that's just splendid. I'm going to follow you around until you admit your undying love for me and then we shall live happily ever after, ok? Marvelous. Tra la la la."

"You mean Lockhart is trying to court Professor McGonagall?" Albus was surprised. "But, but he can't do that! That's _my_ job!"

Fred and George were startled by this sudden revelation and the whiney voice in which it had been delivered. They were baking away slowly from the forlorn headmaster when George suddenly remembered the main reason they had come.

"Oh, and professor?"

Albus looked about wearily. "Yes, George?"

"He wrote her bad poetry too."

"Yeah," agreed Fred, "_really_ bad."

"Well, thank you. You both shall be receiving your lemon drops in the morning and the next detention you get, I will take care of personally. Hurry back to your dormitories now. Goodnight."

"Goodnight Professor." Chorused the twins.

And so Albus continued his trek to the staff room, no longer with a spring in his step or humming happily, but thinking. He definitely needed to be updated on the students slang.

* * *

Rolanda was dozing in an armchair by the fire when the door slamming woke her.

"Wha…?" she asked groggily.

There stood a glowering Minerva and a frightened-looking Emily Vector.

"AUGH!" yelled Minerva and Rolanda fell out of her chair with a thump.

"Minerva! Calm down! What's wrong?" asked Rolanda rubbing her backside.

"Me…teaching… and—AUGH…bloody dwarf…poem…Lockhart…must…die…" She paused breathing heavily.

"Wow," said Emily, "I still have no idea what's going on."

The door opened once more and in ran Sarah Sinstra. "What's happening? Why is Minerva yelling? Did she figure it out?"

"Figure what out, Sarah?" asked Minerva dangerously.

"Umm, nothing?" she squeaked.

Rolanda took pity on her. "What were you saying about a poem?"

"Augh! Lockhart…poem…fourth years…no respect…bloody dwarf!"

"Honestly, Minerva. However do you expect us to sympathize with you if you can't calm down enough to tell us what happened?"

Minerva just glared at her. Unfazed, Rolanda continued to speak.

"Come on now, Minerva. We're all friends here! Shall I whip out the pensieve?"

After the memory had been played there was a very awkward silence. Then Rolanda snickered and soon enough everyone but Minerva was pretty much rolling around on the floor laughing their heads off.

"Well, what of it then?" asked Emily, "Are you going to take him up on the offer? He _is_ a—what was it? Oh yes—_magnificent_ lover."

They all cracked up again.

"I doubt you would think it as funny if it was your class the bloody dwarf had interrupted and you who received that—shudder—poem." Sniffed Minerva.

"Did you see the looks on the Weasley twins' faces?" said Rolanda, wiping a tear away. "Merlin, Minerva I do not envy you."

"Exactly!" came the frustrated reply. "It'll be all over the school by, well it's probably already all over the school. And now I'll have no control in my classroom and no one will ever respect me again!"

"It's not that bad Minerva, really it isn't." insisted Sarah. "You're the most respected teacher in this school. One little incident like this won't change that."

"It will!" Minerva was sounding slightly hysterical by now, as she flopped down on the couch. "I know it will! There'll be whispers about how cranky old McGonagall only got one Valentine and it was from the teacher who doesn't even have a brain!"

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, the one you did get is from a guy who pretty much every witch past puberty wants."

Minerva gave Emily a weak smile. "They only want him until they meet him. I _never_ wanted him and he chooses me of all people! Me!" She shook her head. "Maybe I should just take what I can get…"

"What?!" roared Rolanda, "Who are you and what have you done with Minerva McGonagall? _She_ would never ever act this way. If you love Lockhart, then by all means, go to him. But you don't love _him_. You know it; I know it, Hell, everyone except Lockhart and Dumbledore can see that it's true. You are Minerva McGonagall the Scottish Storm. You get what you want, never second best. And what's more, you deserve it. You deserve only the best Minerva."

Emily and Sarah nodded in agreement.

"It's true."

"Only the best."

Minerva smiled a true smile this time. "Thank you guys. You always know what to say."

Rolanda grinned. "That's what we're here for!"

They laughed and talked and made up the most painful ways to disposes of Lockhart until the rest of the staff arrived.

* * *

Dumbledore was the last one to enter. His eyes seemed to linger on Minerva for longer with loving concern, as if checking her over for injuries. Rolanda smiled to herself.

He quickly did a head count. "Where are Poppy and Gilderoy?"

"They're still in the hospital wing." Piped up Filius, "She can't find the counter-jinx."

Rolanda saw Severus smirk. She would have to ask him about that later.

"Alright. So without further ado, I would like any complaints you have to be written down for later review. Thank y—"

But the door being slammed once again interrupted Dumbledore. Rolanda inwardly marveled at that door. Honestly, how many doors could stand being slammed like that every day for the past thousand years? She barely registered that it was Sybil Trelawny who had entered.

"Why Sybil, this is a pleasant surprise."

"Indeed, headmaster."

But instead of heading towards the empty seat, she walked to Rolanda's left, or more precisely, to where Severus sat.

"Hello Sevvy." She purred. Rolanda was amazed that she was actually purring. That must take practice. But all thoughts of purring divination teachers were pushed out of her head as Sybil leaned down and crashed her lips against Severus'. Rolanda stood abruptly and left before anyone realized what was happening.

Minerva was still in shock as Severus pushed Sybil from his lap.

"What do you think you are doing?!" he spat, clearly livid.

"Well," said Trelawny, "you sent me that Valentine. And while I _do_ appreciate the sunflowers Sev, they aren't really my thing. I much prefer daffodils, you know, for future reference." She winked. Severus gaped.

"Tho—those weren't for you. They were for—" He glanced to his right to find Rolanda's seat empty. "Damn."

Minerva got up from her chair gracefully. "I shall see to it that she is all right, Severus."

Snape looked up from his hands. "Thank you Minerva. Could you tell her what happened?"

"Of course."

She raced to Rolanda's rooms, fully aware that it was way too late to be doing so.

"Rolanda?" she called as she went. "Rolanda are you there?"

When at last she reached the door, she found only a small note attached.

_Dear Minerva, for there is no doubt in my mind that it'll be you who finds this,_

_I'm off to my house for a few days to recuperate. I know it's last minute, and I know tomorrow, I'll probably get a howler from you telling me that Gryffindors don't run from their problems and that I'm acting like a teenager. Well, I'm not running, honestly. I just need a little vacation. And don't worry. There are no Quidditch matches this week and my lesson plans are all done up. Tell Albus I'm sorry and I'll be back soon. You, Emily and Sarah know where to find me if there is an emergency. _

_I'll see you soon, I promise,_

_Rolanda_

AUGH. Why couldn't Rolanda have sulked here? It'd be so much easier to get her back to normal that way.

* * *

She slowly took the note back to the staff room. Albus was the only one who remained.

"She's gone isn't she?"

"How did you know?"

"Just a feeling my dear." He read the note. "Well, that seems to be in order. I trust you, Professor Sinstra, and Professor Victor will be making a house call tomorrow?"

Minerva nodded. "I'll tell them in the morning, and we'll leave as soon as classes are finished. But while we're gone, I hope you'll talk to Severus?"

"It will be done. Shall I walk you to your rooms?"

"That would be nice."

The two friends walked in silence until they reached her door.

"Goodnight Albus." Said Minerva quietly.

"Goodnight, my dear Minerva." He kissed her hand gently. "Sweet dreams."

He turned and strode away, leaving Minerva to enter her rooms, extremely aware that she was alone.

When she crawled into bed, minutes later, she was still thinking about Albus.

She sighed. Wishing things did not make them reality. She turned over and tried to push him out of her mind. But her cheek did not touch smooth pillow, like it should have.

Instead she found a piece of parchment and a single white rose.

_Goodnight, and sweet dreams Minerva. Happy Valentine's Day._

_-A.D._

She smiled. Suddenly, her day wasn't all that bad.

**A/N: Aww, I love Albus! Please review, guys. Reviews are what keep me writing.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: thanks for the reviews guys! Honestly, you people are my favorites! Part of this chapter is inspired by today when my friends and I randomly went to another friend's house and woke her up. Needless to say, she was a little weirded out. But, it worked out and we had a rad roof party.**

**Disclaimer: Yup. It's true. I am JK and all the characters you see belong to me. Uh huh. My imagination is just that good. Really, I'm just disguised as a 14 year old. You caught me.  
**

**Chapter 8-**

Severus had taken the mouth-washing potion at least six times but he still couldn't shake the taste of—gag—Sybil; he had never liked sherry. And he didn't feel 'minty fresh' like the recipe promised. In fact, he felt depressed, angry, sick, and pretty much all around like crap. But who could blame him?

After the meeting-from-hell he had managed to escape Sybil's clutches and had immediately locked all the entrances to his rooms, all the while silently berating himself. How could this have happened? He _knew _that owl looked shifty.

Augh. Why was it always him? Could he not get something right in his love life for once? Was it really that much to ask?

He couldn't sleep, and as the sun came over the horizon, he stiffened his resolve. He wouldn't waste time with such things as cards and decrepit owls. He would march right up to Rolanda and beg forgiveness. Then he was going to give Rolanda her real Valentine's Day gift. If, you know, he didn't chicken out first. He turned over and tried to go to sleep.

Emily and Sarah cornered Minerva after breakfast. She was glad; it saved her the trouble of having to go to the far reaches of the castle to find them.

"Where is Rolanda?" Emily asked, almost breathless.

"Yeah, what's going on? She _never_ misses a meal. _Ever_."

Minerva looked at them both squarely. "She went home. Albus says we have to go make sure she's all right tonight."

"When can we leave?" Asked Sarah, immediately. "When's your last class? I don't have any tonight, there's a thunder storm warning."

"I can go as soon as the last class is done." Assured Emily.

Minerva nodded. "Me too. Sarah, why don't you get some stuff to take to Rolanda's?"

"Like what?"

"Oh, I don't know. Some baked goods, assorted alcohol, maybe Sybil's head on a platter…"

Sarah grinned. "Done." Her grin faded a bit. "And here comes lover boy. Good luck with that, I'll meet you here at the last bell, ok?"

She sped away. Emily stayed only long enough to flash her a sympathetic smile before dashing off to class.

"Oh, Minnie!" Minerva longed for the day when that man and his singsong voice would be out of Hogwarts for good.

She ground her teeth in frustration. "Lockhart, we've been through this! It's MINERVA. And if you can't get it right then we shall have to revert to formalities."

"Ok, ok." He smiled. Again. Like he ever did anything different. "So, how did you like my poem?"

"Yes, about that." Minerva was about to go in for the kill. Crush his spirit beneath her sensible footwear, wipe that stupid grin off his face once and for all, and then laugh about it loudly. But she couldn't. There were students around, female students at that. They'd probably mob her or something. And this man had the mentality of a four year old. _She_ didn't want to be responsible for putting him in St. Mungo's. So, for once, she took a deep breath and the easy way out. "Merlin! Look at the time! I have to get to class. I'll see you later." And she fled, reminding herself that she wasn't being cowardly. She was being nice. She then came to the conclusion that being nice sucked.

The day passed quickly for Minerva, and she was happy to learn that her glares had lost none of their potency. Even Fred and George Weasley behaved themselves. Minerva suspected it was merely because they could sense that she was more on edge, but she appreciated it all the same. As the last bell rang, she grabbed her things and was out of the classroom and nearly to the Entrance Hall before the students had even packed up.

Emily and Sarah were already there, both lugging rather large bags. Minerva raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

"All set, then?" asked Emily cheerfully. "Good. Dumbledore gave me this portkey so, you know what to do."

Minerva and Sarah both placed hands on the single brown mitten and where gone in a whirl of colour.

Albus was not looking forward to the talk with Severus. He cleared his throat and knocked firmly on the door.

"SYBIL!" came Severus voice, sounding dangerous, "MY ANSWER HAS NOT CHANGED IN THE LAST THREE MINUTES! I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU! NOW LEAVE ME ALONE BEFORE I AM FORCED TO HURT YOU, WOMAN!"

Dumbledore was startled by the ferocity of Severus' command. "It's not Sybil, Severus. It's me, Albus."

"OH NO YOU DON'T! I'M NOT FALLING FOR _THAT_ ONE AGAIN!"

"Severus Snape, I am not Sybil. Honestly. Your mother's name was Eileen Prince. There, are you happy now?"

"Not particularly, no." said Snape, opening the door. "Why are you here?"

"Well, you are my friend and co-worker, and I've decided that it's time we had a—ahem—man-to-man discussion."

Severus smirked. "Minerva sent you, didn't she? Pathetic…"

"I am not pathetic!" cried Dumbledore indignantly. "I was going to come anyway, she just—"

"Yeah, yeah." Severus waved away the excuse. "So what exactly does this man-to-man conversation entail?"

"Well, I was thinking, as you've been so great to help me with my plans, that maybe we should harness that brainpower for another plan. One for you."

"Oh no. I've had my fill of plans for the year, thank you. My last one didn't work out too well, if you remember."

"Ah yes, but Severus _this _one will work. I am sure of it."

"No."

"Well let's at least talk about it, and then you can decide."

"The answer is no, Albus."

"Oh, come on. Where's your sense of adventure?"

"It burned out long ago I'm afraid." Severus replied darkly. "It doesn't matter anyway."

"My dear boy, of course it matters! Love always matters." His eyes sparkled in the dim light. "Now, chin-up. We are going to fix this mess if it's the last thing we do."

Severus rolled his eyes. "Merlin, help us all."

When Rolanda woke up in the solitude of her own house, she felt ashamed. What kind of Gryffindor was she, running away? If it had been someone else who had left, she would have scoffed and been the first to insist they get back on their feet again.

She grabbed a bagel on the way out the door. What she needed was a nice long flying session. Then she'd sort things out.

After a very long flight, she came in still very aware of her problems. She showered and after putting on her best, fluffiest, most atrociously coloured pyjamas, crawled into bed to read. She fell asleep almost instantly.

Minerva didn't like portkeys; flooing and apperating was just so much more practical, but at least she remained on her feet, unlike Sarah.

Grumbling, Emily helped her up. "You better not have broken anything."

"I can't help it! I don't have natural grace like you two!" cried Sarah.

"Flattery will get you nowhere." Chided Minerva.

"Tell that to Lockhart," muttered Sarah.

"What?"

"Nothing!"

Minerva looked at her suspiciously. She whistled and looked around innocently.

"Focus you two!" yelled Emily. "How do we get in?"

"Umm, usually people open the door, Em."

"Shut up."

Minerva knocked on the door. And then she knocked again. And again.

"Where the bloody hell is she?"

"Emily, you sound like Ronald Weasley. We'll just go around back." Reasoned Sarah.

"I do not sound like Ron Weasley! Wait, which one is Ronald again?"

"You know," Minerva cut in, "She probably won't answer that one either."

"No," agreed Sarah, "But I know for a fact that she always forgets to lock that one."

The three friends crept around the house. Which was not an easy thing to do, considering Minerva was hissing that they couldn't break in to Rolanda's house, and because the others were still lugging the huge bags.

Puffing slightly, they set down the bags and proceeded to examine the door.

"This is not a good idea!" hissed Minerva.

Emily rolled her eyes. "Honestly, Min, I know your animagus is a cat, but the hissing is a bit much."

"Don't call me Min. It's Minerva! Why is that so hard for people!? And we can't just go into her house, it's rude!"

"Yeah, yeah…"—she pushed open the door—"Oops!"

With grins, both Emily and Sarah entered the kitchen. Muttering darkly, Minerva followed.

They set down their things and immediately headed towards Rolanda's bedroom. Emily giggled when she heard the snoring.

"Shh, you'll get us caught!" whispered Sarah, "You two, follow my lead, ok?"

She opened the door wider.

"Ready? One, two, three GO!"

She ran and jumped on the bed, yelling her head off.

"AHHHHHHH!" screamed Rolanda. "WHAT THE HELL?!"

"You two were supposed to jump too," complained Sarah.

"And miss you looking like an idiot?" asked Minerva. "Not likely."

"What are you three doing? I could have cursed you or something! And how the hell did you get in here?"

"The back was open," shrugged Emily.

"I tried to stop them."

"Whatever. Why are you here?"

"Because we were worried about you!" exclaimed Minerva, "Everyone is!"

"Especially Severus," added Sarah, still trying to detangle herself from the sheets. "But we'll get to that later. Want a marshmallow?"

"What?"

About two hours later the friends had somehow managed to end up sitting on Rolanda's porch roof.

"How did we get up here?" inquired Minerva.

"Through the window, silly" giggled Sarah, who had gotten into the firewhiskey. "Duh."

Minerva raised her eyebrows. "I think that's enough for you."

"NO! IT"S MINE! ALL MINE!"

"Ok then…"

"Hey Rolanda, could you get me that cookie dough in the bag?" asked Emily.

"You brought cookie dough?"

"Of course!"

As Rolanda reached down to get the aforementioned cookie dough, a piece of parchment fell from the bag.

"What's that?" asked Minerva

"Oh," said Sarah, "That's a note from Sevvvyyyy, you're one true love, Rolanda." She grinned. "I _knew_ I was forgetting something."

"Well, go on, read it!" prompted Minerva. "No more marshmallows until you do."

"Oh, what ever shall I do without them?" scoffed Rolanda, "Guys, I really just don't want to deal with Severus right now, ok?"

"No, it's not ok. We need you to at Hogwarts tomorrow. And you need this thing with Severus fixed. Just read the note."

Rolanda glared at Minerva. "I don't want to read the note."

"Fine. I'll read it." And with that she grabbed it from a stunned Rolanda's hands.

"Ahem." She paused.

"Oh, get on with it!" cried Sarah.

"All right, all right. Here we go…"

"Do we have to?" whined Rolanda

"Yes, now shut up." Said Emily. "Go on, Minerva."

"_Dearest Rolanda,_" Minerva wiggled her eyebrows at her friend.

"_I am so sorry for the fiasco that was supposed to be Valentine's Day. The card was for you, not Sybil. But it was the owl's fault, really. I had just wanted you to get it quickly, and needless to say, I should have used a more reliable owl. Any way, the card just said that I hope you have a great day. And I really hope you do. Or night. You know, when ever you get this letter. Now I'm rambling. Well, the point is I am really sorry, and I still want to help with operation L. Albus has really stepped up his annoyingness. I hope you will come back soon and I'm sorry you felt you had to leave. I hope you can forgive me._

_-Love Severus._

_P.S. the sunflowers were for you too. They just kind of remind me of you…_"

"Awwwwww!" Emily, Sarah, and Minerva chanted.

"How the hell do you remind him of sunflowers?" hiccupped Sarah.

"What's operation L?" Minerva wanted to know.

"I don't think it's important," Emily put in hurriedly, " Hey, where's that cookie dough?"

Rolanda smiled softly as she handed it over. She had overreacted; it was true, but Severus begging for forgiveness like this was almost worth it.

Almost. She was still going to make Sybil suffer.

But for tonight she was content just to sit on her roof with her three best friends.

**A/N: Woot. The chapter is finally over; I dunno, I just couldn't get into it. It probably shows too. Oh well, review if you have any ideas for making this story better.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Ok. Here it is. The next chapter. The one you've all been waiting for. Well, not really… But anyways, Thanks so much to all of you who reviewed. Honestly, you people are amazing. And thanks to Molly aka Poem-Yoda, for beta-ing this. You are also my fav.**

**Disclaimer: Must we do this again?**

**Chapter 9 – the return.**

Emily was the first to wake up. Actually, it had been the snoring of one of the others that had awoken her. She surveyed the room.

It was kinda funny that the way her friends slept represented their personalities so well.

Minerva lay on her stomach at the opposite edge of the bed. Emily now saw that it hadn't been her snoring at all. Minerva's arms were folded beneath her and her head was exactly in the middle of her pillow. Compact and organized and in control, her breath came in effective little puffs making her body raise up ever so slightly with every exhale. She was a perfectionist and even now it showed.

Rolanda lay on Emily's right, in the middle of the large bed. She rested on her back with both hands under her pillow cradling her head, almost as if she was sunbathing. Her breath was slow and deep, never in a hurry, while her eyes told a different story. They were moving ceaselessly underneath their lids, making them flutter. Her leg twitched and Emily realized it had been her who had kicked her during the night. A slow mischievous smile spread across Rolanda's face followed by another twitch of the leg. Emily decided she didn't want to know.

Instead, she turned to look at Sarah and laughed softly. She was sprawled across the end of the bed; still grasping what was left of the marshmallows. They had finally managed to devise a clever plot and steal the firewhiskey from her near two o'clock that morning. Sarah had almost fallen off the roof in attempts to save her 'precious' as she had called it.

It was then that Rolanda had decided that next they would find _her_ a man.

Emily's thoughts were interrupted by another grunting snore.

So it was Sarah who had woken her up? It made sense. Loud and unapologetic, that was Sarah for you. Although, her intelligence wasn't really shining through at the moment.

Now, normally Emily would have made her pay. She would have drawn or her face or something equally as childish, but she felt that Sarah would be punished enough when she got up. You never drank that much alcohol for a reason, especially firewhiskey.

She suddenly realized how weird it was that she was watching her friends sleep.

She instead put her efforts into finding a clock. When she finally found the one above the mantle in the living room, she wished she had stayed in bed.

* * *

"AHHH!"

Minerva woke with a start, grabbing her wand as Emily burst into the room.

"What happened?" she demanded.

"Honestly, people." Came Rolanda's groggy voice. "You guys are my best friends and everything, but the screaming wake up calls have got to stop."

"IT"S TEN TO ELEVEN!"

"So?"

"Shit!" said Minerva, catching on. "We have school!"

"Exactly!" replied Emily from where she was prodding Sarah. "Can you two help me here? She won't wake up."

Rolanda pulled the pillow over her head so it muffled her words. "Do we have to?" she whined.

"Yes we have to! Now get up and get ready! Albus is going to kill us!" Minerva cried.

"Albus isn't going to kill us. All you have to do is turn up the charm, maybe put on some form fitting robes, and we'll be golden. He _is_ just a man after all."

Minerva glared at her. "He's not just a man! And I refuse to do that!"

Emily sighed. "Can we not do this now?" She stopped shaking Sarah for a moment. "Rolanda, you go take a shower. Minerva, you come help me with Sarah."

"Yes, mum." Muttered Rolanda, winking at Minerva.

"What?"

"Nothing…"

At eleven forty-five on the dot, the four teachers burst into the Entrance Hall.

Sarah winced when the doors slammed behind them. She had been doing that a lot since the others had finally succeeded in waking her.

"Albus is going to _murder_ us." Said Minerva for close to the fiftieth time.

"Can you keep it down?" whispered Sarah. "Please?"

"Sarah Situla Sol Sinstra this is your own fault and—wow, your parents were big on stars weren't they?"

"And the letter S, apparently. I'm a third generation astronomer." She smiled weakly. "Now I'm going to get something from Poppy. I'll see you later, you know, if I survive."

She tiptoed of towards the hospital, muttering about firewhiskey and the spawns of Satan who had created it. All three of the others decided wordlessly that it'd be kinder not to mention the marshmallow stuck to her butt.

Minerva, Rolanda, and Emily had just stepped onto the staircase, with the intention of seeing Dumbledore, when thousands of feet started to move, signaling lunch. So they turned around and headed into the Great Hall to wait.

* * *

Dumbledore had arrived at Minerva's quarters at seven thirty to escort her to breakfast, just like he used to. He had figured that she and the others would have resolved the Rolanda fiasco by then, and was saddened to find he was incorrect. He had gone back to his office and arranged a substitute for Minerva, Rolanda, Emily, and just in case, one for Sarah as well. Hopefully, they would be back soon.

In the mean time, he focused his energies on teaching in Minerva's stead. The students were surprised to see him, but he thought they rather liked the part were he gave them lemon drops to practice on.

If only all his problems were solved that easily.

Severus was still moping. Albus had presented him with four fine plans, including one involving square dancing and house elves, before he had settled for one. Albus didn't think it was nearly as good as the others, but held his tongue. Severus had his reasons, he was sure.

Dumbledore was glad when lunchtime came. The sixth years had made him work up quite the appetite. He didn't remember teaching ever taking that much energy before, and came to the depressing conclusion that he just wasn't all that young anymore.

Still brooding, he followed the students to the Hall. Once inside he brightened instantly. Minerva was back! Oh, and Rolanda and Emily too, of course. He briefly registered that Sarah wasn't there, before being pushed slightly and realizing he had been blocking the doors.

He hurried forward with a smile on his face.

"So the trip was a success, I take it?"

Minerva smiled, eyes lighting up at the sound of his voice. "Of course! Did you ever doubt us?"

"Me? Doubt you? Hardly." He sat down beside her. "Where's Sinstra?"

To his supreme surprise, Minerva giggled. "With Poppy. She had an…interesting night."

"Oh."

"Yes. It really was quite hilarious."

'Well, I'm glad you had a good time, my dear."

She turned to face him and grinned. "I really did, Albus. Thank you."

* * *

Rolanda's brain felt fuzzy. The students weren't exactly helping things either. With every surge of mindless chatter, and every scrape of cutlery, the pounding in Rolanda's head grew. She groaned pitifully.

"Are you all right, Rolanda?" Asked Filius, ever concerned.

"No. Better than Sarah, I expect, but not all right."

"You really should get something from Poppy."

"And get an hour-long lecture on the consequences of alcohol consumption? I think not."

"I understand completely." Flitwick looked thoughtful. "What about Severus? He supplies Poppy. He should have a few around."

"Severus?" Rolanda replied weakly. _That'd be rather awkward._

But her head gave another painful pound and she decided, it was for the best. Awkward she could handle.

Rolanda slowly made her way down the dungeon passageway. So far she had succeeded in stubbing her toe twice; running into a stone wall; and discovering that if you swore, it echoed back much louder than you would've liked. Finally, she made it to Severus' door and knocked quietly.

"TRELAWNY! LEAVE ME BE! I DON"T LIKE YOU AT ALL! JUST STOP IT!"

Rolanda laughed. Loudly. "It's not Sybil, I'm Rolanda."

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

"Good." He opened the door cautiously. "Umm, sorry about that, it's just…yeah…"

"It's ok. All of it."

She looked up and saw that Snape was blushing. Snape. Blushing.

She smiled. "Got anything for a killer hangover?"

His lips twitched in reply. "I've got just what you need."

Rolanda fallowed him to the classroom mulling over his words and their double meaning.

She sat on his desk and watched as he dug through the cabinets.

"It should be in here somewhere…"

She didn't mind she wasn't in any rush.

"Found it!" He handed a small purple potion bottle to her. "I think its grape flavoured."

She chuckled. "Really? They have different flavours?"

Severus nodded. "Poppy only uses the gross ones to teach people a lesson. It doesn't seem to work, but you just don't argue with Poppy."

She downed it in one.

Snape stood brushing her arm as he went. Rolanda shivered slightly at the tingling it had invoked.

"Are you cold?" He asked politely.

"Uh, yeah." She was lying. She wondered if he could tell the real reason.

He must have for the next second he had pulled her off the desk and wrapped his arms around her.

"I'm sorry." He whispered, chin resting on top of her head.

She snaked her arms around his body. "I know. Me too."

They stood there for what felt like forever. Then there was a snap from the doorway.

Severus and Rolanda jerked around to see the door swinging shut and two identical redheads turning to sprint away.

_Damn it_, thought Severus, _Why is it always me?_

* * *

**A/N: Poor, poor Severus. I love the Weasley twins, though. So next chapter should, I repeat, SHOULD be up soon. I hope you all liked it, and as you've probably noticed, I'm a review whore so… yeah, Constructive critasism needed. I want this story to get better, and who better qualified to tell what you guys want to read than you, right?**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Ah, chapter 10 wipes tear seems like only yesterday I posted chapter one...**

**Disclaimer: Your mom owns Harry Potter.**

* * *

Minerva looked at her watch and swore under her breath. She was late.

The Gryffindor/Hufflepuff match was due to start any moment. She was excited. This year would be their year. This year Gryffindor would finally win the cup; she could feel it.

As she hurried through the corridors, hoping that she would get there before the game started, something glinted and caught her eye.

A mirror?

She went forward to pick it up but as she turned the corner something else entirely captured her attention.

Two students lay on the floor, clearly petrified.

A Ravenclaw prefect—Miss Clearwater and one of her own Gryffindors—Hermione Granger. McGonagall wondered briefly what the two had been doing together and not at the match.

She heard a distant noise and spun, wand raised, trying to see if the culprit was nearby. When she found no one, she proceeded to send Poppy a patronus; they needed these two to be attended to immediately.

As soon as the girls were in the hospital wing the set off for the Quidditch game again. The students weren't going to like this.

* * *

Rolanda was in the middle of the pitch releasing the balls when Minerva showed up with the megaphone. Rolanda knew at once that there had been another attack; Minerva McGonagall did not cancel Quidditch for just any reason.

There was an outcry from the spectators as Minerva ordered them to their common rooms. Oliver Wood looked like he was going to have a heart attack.

Rolanda ran forward, wanting details, but Minerva gave her a look that clearly meant 'later' and left for the castle with Potter and Weasley, looking grim.

Rolanda stayed long enough to make sure that all the students had left and that everything was in its rightful place before leaving the pitch herself. She needed some answers.

* * *

Sarah Sinstra entered the staff room with her arms full of star charts to find that it was not empty at all.

"What's going on?" She inquired. "Is Quidditch over already?"

Sarah had never liked Quidditch, or flying for that matter. She always used game time to take advantage of the quiet workspace.

"No, It was cancelled," said Rolanda mournfully, "There was another attack."

"What? Who?"

"A Ravenclaw and a Gryffindor."

Emily looked up. "I heard it was Penelope Clearwater and—"

"Percy Weasley?" interrupted Sarah hand over her heart.

"No," she looked puzzled. "Hermione Granger. Why did you say Percy?"

"Oh, I just thought… they're together a lot, that's all."

"Oh."

The door opened and they all turned to find the heads of houses looking worn.

"I hate this." whispered Pomona sadly. "Absolutely hate it."

"Me too." said Flitwick, sinking into a chair. "They all seem so young to be dealing with this. I had three criers. I can't handle crying. I had to take them to Poppy."

Minerva shook her head. "Don't blame yourself, Filius. It's hard to know what to do. I'm worried for my Gryffindors, I'm worried for all the students—I'm worried for Hogwarts; it can't continue like this."

It was silent for a few minutes.

Then Severus spoke. "About your Gryffindors, I was wondering if it was you who revoked the Weasley twins' detention?"

"No, maybe it was Albus, it's a rather annoying habit of his. What did they do this time? It must've been bad as Gryffindor is down a hundred and twenty points."

"They, ah, interrupted something." His eyes flickered to Rolanda.

Minerva looked amused. "Oh, really? Well it serves you right. What were you thinking, during school hours?"

"It wasn't like _that_." insisted Rolanda. "Honestly, they just came in at the wrong time…"

"Do you get the feeling we're missing something?" Emily asked, smirking.

"Why yes," grinned Sarah, "I think we are. But, you know what? I think it'd be best if the spared us the, ahem, _details_."

Rolanda and Severus' stutters were cut short when the door opened again.

"I bring good news! The culprit has been caught! Hogwarts is safe!"

There was an explosion of questions.

"Who?"

"Who was it?"

"Where are they?"

"How do _you_ know?"

"Where's Albus?" Minerva wanted to know. "He should've told us."

Lockhart raised his hands to stem the flow.

"The ministry has apprehended, with my help of course, the grounds keeper Hagrid!"

"NO." The staff was shocked.

"Yes. I always knew he was shifty. I can always tell—"

"But it can't have been him!" cried Minerva

"Tabby, don't worry, that man will never hurt anyone again. How about I take you out for a walk. We can…talk, ok?" He was smiling in what he clearly thought was a reassuring way.

Merlin, she hated him.

"Where's Albus?" She asked through gritted teeth.

He waved away the question. "Order of suspension or something. So, baby, how 'bout that walk?"

"S-suspended?" sputtered Pomona. "They can't do that!"

"Oh, but they have. And I say good job to the ministry too. Something had to be done. You ready, kitten?"

Minerva was shaking with suppressed rage. Her hand twitched towards her wand and her eyes were flashing—a sure sign of danger. Her colleagues simultaneously took a step back.

"Do you mean to tell me that Albus Dumbledore, the only thing that was keeping our students from being murdered, has been removed?" Her voice was low and dangerous, and had any of the others liked Lockhart or even felt a little bad for him, surely they would've shouted a warning. As it was, they remained silent.

His grin was slipping. "Come on now, dollface, its for the best."

"How…?" She clearly had underestimated him. She hadn't thought he was _this _stupid.

"Minnie darling, calm down—"

And then it happened. With the force of Mount Vesuvius, she exploded.

"CALM DOWN!? I WILL NOT BLOODY WELL CALM DOWN! THEY CAN'T GET RID OF DUMBLEDORE! THE STUDENTS NEED HIM!"

Lockhart was backing away slowly; transfixed on the fury that was Minerva McGonagall.

"Now, now Min, it's all righ—"

"YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!" she roared. "THEY'VE GOT THE WRONG PERSON! THERE'S NO WAY- NO WAY THAT RUBEOUS HAGRID IS RESPONSIBLE!"

"Tabby, I think you're being a bit unresona—"

"UNREASONABLE?! UNREASONABLE?! HA! IS IT UNREASONABLE TO WANT THE STUDENTS SAFE?! IS IT UNREASONABLE TO PUT AN INNOCENT MAN IN AZKABAN?! DOES THAT SEEM UNREASONABLE TO YOU?! ANSWER ME!"

Lockhart was pretty much quaking in fear. "Umm, no?"

"YOU'RE BLOODY WELL RIGHT IT ISN'T!"

"Min, love, it'll be ok—"

That was the last straw.

"MY NAME IS MINERVA! MINERVA! WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS! I'M NOT YOUR MIN, MINNIE, BABY, GIRL, DARLING, DEAREST, TABBY, OR KITTEN! I NEVER LIKED YOU! I CAN'T STAND YOU! NO ONE CAN! YOU 'RE INSUFFERABLE!"

"B-but…?"

Minerva flopped back down on the couch. "The answer is no. Leave before I do something I regret. From now on you are to address me as Professor. Now go." Her voice was cold and harsh from yelling. The glare she fixed him with was probably her worst to date. No, Poppy's worst plus Snape's worst plus Minerva's worst times ten.

Yeah, that bad.

Lockhart tripped over himself he was trying so hard to get away.

After the door swung shut there was a stunned silence.

"Brava! Brava! Encore! Encore!" cheered Sarah. "That was ah-maze-ing!"

Minerva gave a weak smile that looked more like a grimace. "I shouldn't have yelled. It was unprofessional."

"Who cares?" asked Rolanda. "It was awesome! Inspiring, even!"

"Albus isn't going to be happy when he—" Then she remembered. "Oh."

The staff was quiet again.

"He didn't even say goodbye…"

And no one knew what to say.

* * *

Minerva was angry. Some one just had to mention Lockhart and she went into a mental rant. That and the damn gargoyle wouldn't let her into Albus' office without rigorous testing. Honestly, she could turn into a cat. How many death-eaters or impersonators could do that, even with the bloody polyjuice potion? Exactly.

Finally she managed it. And as she sat in his office, looking at their unfinished chess game from the night before, she realized she had no reason to be up here.

She sighed and rose, ready to leave. Right before she opened the door, she changed her mind and turned back to his desk, choosing a lemon drop from the dish.

"And you told me you didn't like them."

Minerva turned quickly, startled. Albus stood in the doorway, eyes twinkling.

"The gargoyle alerted me that there was someone trying to enter my chambers by force."

Minerva rolled her eyes. "Honestly, how many times over the years have I visited? His memory must be going."

He chuckled.

"Why do you have to go?" She was whining, and she hated it.

Albus shrugged slightly. "The ministry thinks its best. I'll be back soon."

"But you're the only reason no one has been killed! And since when does the ministry know best?"

"You flatter me."

"It's true Albus. Hogwarts needs you! I can't run a school by myself."

"You aren't by yourself. You have Filius, Pomona, Severus and the others to help you. And I am always close by if you need me."

_I always need you,_ Minerva thought. She knew there was no use in arguing. "Do you have time to at least finish the chess game?"

"Alas, no. I am due somewhere else, but we shall finish this game in good time. Maybe you'll be so glad to see me that you'll let me win for once."

"Don't count on it."

He laughed again and moved forward. "You can do it Minerva. I know you can, I just came to make sure you knew."

His kissed her forehead gently, lingering longer than even a best friend should.

"I must go."

"I wish you didn't."

"I know. I am always with you Minerva. Just look for me and I'll be there. Goodbye."

And he swept form the office without another word, leaving Minerva filled with an awful sense of loss.

* * *

**A/N: thank you so much to everyone who reviewed. i know i say this every time, but they are what keeps me writing. 3- Sloane**


	11. Chapter 11 good old fashioned angst

**A/N: Ok, so I haven't really updated in a while. Sorry. And I'm also sorry that it'll be even longer before the next one is up. Basketball camp beckons. And snaps for Molly who wrote some of this.**

**Disclaimer: The characters/castle/monster/chamber'o'secrets/everything else you may recognize does not belong to me. Hey, I even borrowed some of JK's dialogue from when Harry and Ron are in the wardrobe. Pgs 216- 218, if my memory serves me…**

* * *

In the weeks after Dumbledore's departure, the school regained some semblance of normality. The Weasley twins could be found torturing Filch as usual; the gobstones club was reformed under the supervision of the muggle studies professor; Pomona was happily reporting the progress that the mandrakes were making; there were no more attacks; and Gilderoy Lockhart had gone back to loving only himself and was convinced he was the reason that the aforementioned attacks had ceased for the time being.

But if anyone had taken the time to look closer, they would have found that Minerva McGonagall was far from her usual self. The pressure of running the school on her own was getting to her and, for the first time ever, Minerva McGonagall found herself struggling. In addition to taking on Albus' duties, she was still teaching all her classes and doing all the marking on top of that. She never complained, in fact quite the opposite—she refused all help offered. She had always been independent, and felt no need to change that now.

Her friends, accepting how proud and stubborn she really was, took to doing little things to help her along. Poppy always reminded her to eat, and often stayed to make sure that she _did_ eat. Emily helped with marking whenever Minerva left her things in the staff room. Rolanda took the night shift, making sure that Minerva got to bed at a reasonable hour and often levitated her to her rooms if she fell asleep in her office. She always had to take extra care not to hit her against any walls. It really was a team effort, and in later times Minerva would be glad for it. In the mean time, however, Minerva often scolded them for doing such things. She insisted that she was fine and that they had their own work to think about thank-you-very-much.

The thing that angered Minerva the most was that tears were never very far off; she was the head of Gryffindor for heavens sake! Like earlier when Potter and Weasley had snuck off to see Miss Granger in the hospital wing. True, it was quite sweet; especially the way young Weasley's ears had gone crimson to match his tie, but was it really necessary to start blubbering in the hallway? At this rate the children would think she was going soft.

The students were not the same either. They were downtrodden and quiet, keeping their heads down and just trying to keep safe. They all seemed to realize that the new rules were for their own good. Minerva even saw several Slytherins waiting patiently for Hufflepuffs so they could go to their next class together. How sad was it that they had had to kill off students to gain cooperation between the Houses?

_Not kill off, _she reminded herself forcefully. _They're only petrified. _

It was even sadder that being petrified was almost a blessing in this situation, like they should be thankful that it hadn't been worse.

She sighed. _How had things gotten so bad?_

* * *

Sybil Trelawny was _not_ amused. Today had been an all around horrible, terrible, no good day—and it wasn't even half over yet.

The morning had started off with her falling out of bed. There would most certainly be a bruise tomorrow. Then, whilst reading tealeaves as per custom, she got an owl, a dagger and a lopsided heart. So, news, treachery, and a bad day for her love life. Joy.

Not, that she had been expecting a good day or anything; she had totally foreseen this in a dream. Still, she had hoped for a better outcome. The inner-eye can be a burden, you know.

Things just went downhill from there. Her favorite shawl caught fire on one of her candles. Three students had broke teacups, one spilling tea on her hand and burning it so bad it blistered. The trap door had closed on another, knocking him out. And someone had dropped a crystal ball on their classmate's foot breaking it in two places.

Around midday, the fates suddenly gripped her conscience and told her that it would be in her best interest to go downstairs. So she dismissed her class early, and followed them through the trap door. Who was she to deny the fates anything?

But as she entered the Great Hall, it became clear that said fates were playing nasty tricks on her. On her way to the sparely used seat that was set-aside for her, she was splattered by two different kinds of potatoes, courtesy of the Weasley twins.

Suddenly, she had a premonition that their marks would be suffering a decline soon.

She took her seat only to find that all the pumpkin juice was gone. Now what was she going to drink? Honestly, that Sinstra had an unhealthy dependency.

Soon enough lunch was over, and now here she was—lost in the many Hogwarts hallways. Again.

This day could not get any worse.

She searched for familiar landmarks and people to point her in the right direction to no avail. Frustrated, she forced her way through a promising-looking door. Big mistake.

Apparently the day _could_ get worse.

She bolted from the old classroom, trying not to think.

Severus. Hooch. Lips. Desk. Hands. EWWWWWW…

She wondered if any permanent damage would be done if she scorgified her eyes.

Co-workers. Snog. Chalkboard. Severus and Hooch. Together. As in with each other. EWWWWWW…

On second thought, maybe she'd risk it. Merlin, where was that sherry when you need it?

* * *

Severus Snape, hearing a noise, looked up to see Sybil Trelawny's retreating back.

"What was that?" came Rolanda's slightly muffled voice.

"Sybil."

"Damn it."

Severus grimaced. "Now we have to exterminate her. Not that that tares me up or anything…"

"Maybe then she'll stop stalking you," she laughed.

"I wouldn't count on it. She'd probably come back and haunt us forever."

Rolanda grinned, liking that he had put 'us' and 'forever' in the same sentence. "Well, in that case we'd just have to convince her that Binns is the better catch."

Severus chuckled. "The man may be mind-numbing, but he doesn't deserve that; no one does. And we both know I'm the better catch." He pulled on her hand, trying to get her to move. "Well, come on. We have to guarantee her silence."

Rolanda rolled her eyes. "There'll be time later; the old bat is clearly lost. I have a better idea, anyways. Now, where were we?"

Snape smirked, relenting. "I think I remember…"

* * *

Minerva walked along the hallways during her free period. She couldn't stand it in her office any longer; the walls were closing in on her. Mr. Filch had sent her another request to reinstate hanging by the thumbs as a punishment. It was the third request in two weeks. She had spent half of her day arguing with students about how important exams were, only to turn around and help Weasley and Potter skive off History of Magic. Cornelius Fudge had sent two letters, demanding replies immediately. She had the seventh-year reports to finish marking. And Sybil was running around muttering to herself about classrooms and—well, actually, that was more normal than anything else...

Minerva just couldn't deal with all that right now, not while she was loosing her edge. She was still in shock that she had let the Weasley twins off with a warning when they had thrown the potatoes at lunch. She found herself wondering what Albus would have done.

_Stop that, _she scolded. _Comparing yourself to him won't help a bit. And feeling sorry for yourself won't help either. _

Minerva wondered when she had started depending on Albus; it really was quite unbecoming. _About the same time you started loving him, _said that annoying little voice. She sighed. _Yes, I suppose that's right. But he can't help me now._

Suddenly, she realized where her walk had taken her. She was standing in the second floor, staring at the writing on the wall. **THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS HAS BEEN OPENED. ENEMIES OF THE HEIR, BEWARE. **The letters still shined as bright and ominously as they had the day Mrs. Norris had been found. But today there was something else. No, surely not…

* * *

"_**All students to return to their house dormitories at once. All teachers return to the staff room. Immediately, please**__._"

Emily Vector nearly fell off her chair when she heard Minerva's voice.

_Not another attack, please dear Merlin, not another one._

She quickly put away her book, and rushed from the tower, all the while trying to be optimistic. But it's pretty hard to be optimistic when there's a monster loose in your home. Honestly, you try it.

Soon she entered the staff room, only to be greeted by silence and her scared and confused colleagues. Emily sat on the ugly mustard couch between Sarah and Filius wringing her hands. _What happened?_

Then Minerva arrived.

"It has happened," her voice was quiet, but no one had trouble hearing. "A student has been taken by the monster. Right into the chamber itself."

There were several gasps, on her left Filius squealed. Snape, however, asked the very question she had been about to.

"How can you be sure?" He was gripping the back of an old wooden chair so tight his knuckles had turned white.

Minerva was extremely pale and when she spoke her brogue was more pronounced than ever. "The Heir of Slytherin left another message. Right underneath the first one. _**Her skeleton will lie in the chamber forever**_**.**"

Filius burst into tears. Emily knew exactly how he felt. _Why?_

"Who is it?" Rolanda inquired from where she had sunk into the chair that Snape still had the death grip on. "Which student?"

"Ginny Weasley."

There was a bump from the wardrobe in the corner, but Emily ignored it.

"We shall have to send all the students home tomorrow," Minerva continued sorrowfully. "This is the end of Hogwarts. Dumbledore always said…"

But what Dumbledore always said they never found out. The door had burst open, cutting Minerva off mid sentence and revealing Lockhart.

Good Lord, he was _smiling_.

"So sorry – dozed off – what have I missed?"

_What the hell!? A student is taken and he's taking a bloody nap!?_

She glared at him. Emily glared harder than she had ever glared in her life, so hard it made her eyes hurt. But it was worth all the eyestrain if the scorch of her hate could penetrate that thick skull of his. Not to mention that extra three layers of hairspray.

Severus stepped forward, and she was pleased to see that he was glaring too. Actually, all the others were. Good. They'd destroy him yet.

"Just the man," Snape's voice was like ice. "The very man. A girl has been snatched by the monster, Lockhart. Taken into the Chamber of Secrets itself. Your moment has come at last."

Lockhart gulped.

Next it was Sprout's turn. "That's right Gilderoy. Weren't you saying just last night that you've known all along where the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets is?"

Lockhart was stuttering by now. You had to give Pomona her props. Emily hadn't known that sweet, cheerful Pomona could ever sound so patronizing and haughty.

"Yes," Filius began, "didn't you tell me you were sure you knew what was inside it?"

Since when did Flitwick smirk like that? Or sound that cold?

Jeez, Lockhart sure brought out the best in people.

Severus was back. _Ha ha, sucks to be Lockhart_. "I certainly remember you saying you were sorry you hadn't had a crack at the monster before Hagrid was arrested." He paused. "Didn't you say that the whole affair had been bungled, and that you should have been given a free rein from the first?"

Lockhart's eyes flickered from face to face like a dog backed into a corner.

"I… I really never… You may have misunderstood…"

"We'll leave it to you, then, Gilderoy," Minerva was clearly pretending she hadn't heard what he had said. "Tonight will be an excellent time to do it. We'll make sure everyone's out of your way. You'll be able to tackle the monster all by yourself. A free rein at last."

Emily had to hand it to Minerva. She really did have a talent for killing egos. Lockhart didn't look even close to handsome now. He was trembling head to foot, his chin was weak and he looked as if he was about to cry. What a shame.

Really, what good is a pretty boy without the pretty?

"V-very well," Augh, he sounded like Quirrel from the year before. Although, she did doubt that this one had an evil spirit sticking out of his head… "I'll –I'll be in my office, getting –getting ready."

He turned and fled. Which was probably a good thing, considering Emily's right eye had developed a twitch from all the glaring.

"Right," Minerva's nostrils were flared. Emily briefly wondered just how one did that. "That's got _him_ out from under our feet. The Heads of Houses should go and inform their students what has happened. Tell them the Hogwarts Express will take them home first thing tomorrow. Will the rest of you please make sure no students have been left outside their dormitories."

One by one, the teachers left, sighing deeply and contemplating the horrible truths being forced on the castle. Ginny hadn't deserved this. No one did.

* * *

Minerva's legs felt like lead as she headed back to her office. The looks on the students' faces had been horrible. They were devastated, and rightly so.

She could barely make herself write the letter to the Weasleys. They had been her students too. She sealed it and sent it off immediately.

She slumped back in her seat, the tears that she had managed to hold back now coming in full force.

Minerva had let them down.

She had left the Weasleys down; they had done nothing to merit this. She had let Ginny down; she should have made sure all the first years were safe. She had let the rest of the Gryffindors—her cubs—down; she was supposed to protect them. She had let Hogwarts down; the castle was her responsibility, and now there was a monster roaming its halls. She had let everyone from the smallest first-year to the oldest ghost down. She had let herself down.

And she had let him down. Albus. He had trusted her, believed in her, told her that everything would be fine, and promised to be there when she needed him.

He had lied (Everything was _not_ fine. And she always needed him.) But she was the one unworthy of his trust.

She had let them down.

There was a nock on the door. Wiping her eyes she went forward, wondering if the Weasleys had somehow gotten word another way…

But it wasn't the Weasleys at all.

She had needed him, and so he had come.

* * *

**A/N: How do you like me NOW? Muahahaha, sort of cliffie. Except no, cuz we all know who's at the door. Rolls eyes and if you don't, well, that's kinda sad… Any who, Review for me! The more reviews and the quicker the update. It's rather selfish, but, hey, it's how I roll. -Sloane**


	12. Chapter 12

* * *

_Last time on Baiting Lockhart:_ Minerva was being all angsty, remember?

There was a knock on the door. Wiping her eyes she went forward, wondering if the Weasleys had somehow gotten word another way…

But it wasn't the Weasleys at all.

She had needed him, and so he had come.

_And now we join our heroes in the __**real**__ story._

The door opened. And they both stood looking at each other for a moment that seemed to stretch on into forever.

All he wanted to do was to drink in the look of her. Had she always been this beautiful? This perfect? Maybe it was true, what his mother used to say: maybe distance really did make the heart grow fonder? But his musings quieted as he took in the redness of her eyes and the discarded tissues on the desk.

He stepped forward, barely realizing that he was in danger of banging into the table that separated them. Minerva needed him. That was all that mattered right now.

"You came back." She whispered.

"How could I ever stay away?"

Suddenly, she crumbled. Minerva McGonagall, the Scottish Storm, fell apart.

She sobbed as she told him of the entire goings on while he had been gone. How everyone was so frightened and how she had felt so inadequate. How Ginny was gone and no one could do anything about it. How she had wished so much that he would come back. Albus realized how much she must trust him to be like this and just held on, comforting her.

Gradually she stopped crying. Dumbledore was reluctant to let her leave his embrace; she might not ever be back if she left now. So instead he started humming.

Yes, humming.

Why not? They always danced together at Ministry balls, and Minerva always said that she loved dancing. It really did seem the only logical way to keep her with him.

He hummed his favorite waltz, The Blue Danube, because it was the only one he could remember. They began to sway in time to the impromptu music and slowly but surely, Minerva's own voice rose to join his.

And for one shining moment, things were ok. The way they should be.

But then reality came crashing through the door in the form of the terrified Weasleys.

Arthur Weasley was scared. Terrified. Horrified. Scared out of his bloody mind. His family is the most important thing in the world to him. And now…

_Ginny_. His little girl. She's gone. And he couldn't do a single thing about it.

He felt so helpless, so small. He should have found a way to protect her. But surely Dumbledore can help? He'll know what to do right?

And as Dumbledore explains that he _can't_ help, all Arthur wants to do is curl up and stay away from the world.

_His little girl._

Molly is sobbing by now. He tries to be of some comfort, but he's crying too. Arthur puts an arm around her shaking shoulders and lets her lean into him.

When she looks up at him he notices once again that her eyes and Ginny's are identical, down to the last golden fleck. He has to look away and he hates himself for it.

_His baby's gone. _

He's never going to break up her fights with Ron again. Never going to stop the twins from teasing her again. Not going to read her anymore muggle fairytales. Not going to see her laugh or smile or cry or yell or just breathe ever again.

_Never again._

He tries, without much success, to listen to Albus. He knows that there's got to be something that'll help the pain in Dumbledore's words. But maybe he doesn't want to learn to cope. All he wants is his daughter back, but if this pain is the only thing that's left, he'll take that too. It's better than nothing, right?

The door bangs open and Molly screams. For a moment Minerva thinks she is seeing a ghost. Or four.

Gasps sound and she stands still, hand over her heart.

_They're ok._

She wants to laugh with relief. She wants to cry again because they're all right. She wants to rant and rave at Potter and Weasley because _what the hell_ _were they thinking_? But she doesn't. She settles for hearing the whole long, twisted story. She has the slightest feeling Potter is leaving something out, but says nothing. Not now, when everything is finally good again.

Minerva watched, detached from the scene, as Albus sent the Weasleys with Ginny to the hospital wing. Poor girl. Poppy would take good care of her. She smiled when Ron's face brightened as he heard that the mandrake potion was ready. She stood lost in her thoughts until she heard her name.

Albus' eyes were twinkling. "I think this merits a good _feast_. Might I ask you to go alert the kitchens?"

"Right." She turned, keeping all emotion from her face. "I'll leave you to deal with Potter and Weasley, shall I?"

Minerva nearly burst out laughing at the looks on their faces.

Once in the corridor, she couldn't help it; her face broke into a huge grin. She resisted the urge to yell and skip to the kitchens. It really was amazing how many emotions a person could go through in a day.

After the visit to the kitchen and the usual mobbing it entailed, Minerva went to get her students up.

First, she woke the faculty. She quickly explained everything to teacher after teacher, reliving the joy of Ginny's rescue again and again. Snape was the only teacher who didn't hug her, laugh, or cry. Thankfully. Snape would show emotion in front of Minerva the day he kissed Sybil. Willingly, that is. That was the one thing Minerva could count on. Well, that and Albus. He had come back. She still couldn't get over it; it still felt like a dream—a wonderful, romantic, beautiful dream. And she didn't want to wake up ever.

After she finished waking the staff and snapped out of her cliché-ridden train of thought, she went to the Gryffindor common room. She woke the Weasleys first, so as not to shock them in front of their entire house.

Finally, she made her way to the great hall, where a feast was waiting. A feast and her three best friends.

"He's back isn't he?"

"Did he kiss you?"

"What happened? What did he do?"

"Do we _want_ to know what he did?"

"_Rolanda!_"

"So what did happen, then?" asked the hawk-eyed witch.

"We danced around my office."

"That's it? No snogging?"

"What did you dance to?" asked Emily, throwing Rolanda a stern look.

"The Blue Danube."

"Oh, a waltz, how romantic!" exclaimed Sarah.

Minerva couldn't help herself, she grinned. "Yeah, it was."

They squealed in perfect unison and the ear-splitting sound reminded Minerva of earlier.

"Oh, by the way," she smirked "I couldn't help but overhear Sybil's mutterings today." She looked pointedly at Rolanda.

"Oh?" Rolanda tried to act cool, but the others could see that her eyes were darting around trying to locate the nearest exit.

"Yes. And she did have some -ahem- _interesting _information."

Sarah was impatient. "Oh, get on with then, tell us what she said!"

"Well," continued Minerva, obviously glad that the attention was not focused on her anymore. "She seems to have come across a pair of over-zealous inhabitants of the castle using an abandoned classroom rather inappropriately."

"Kids these days." Rolanda shook her head and backed towards the door. "No respect."

"Uh huh. Kids. Riiiiiiiight."

"Oh no." laughed Emily "you _didn't_."

Rolanda was starting to sweat. "What? I didn't do anything, I swear. Hey, don't look at me like that!"

Minerva rolled her eyes. "Fine" she said loftily, "I'll just go tell Albus about the bad influences our students are exposed to and—"

"Fine! It was me and Severus. Happy?"

"Not particularly." Sarah scrunched up her nose. "Is his hair really as slimy as it looks?"

"I'll have you know he has a scalp condition!"

Minerva, Sarah and Emily were still laughing as the students and other faculty began to arrive.

Rolanda thought the feast went marvelous. You know, apart from the scathing looks from Trelawny, the laughter and teasing from her friends and the confused glances from Severus. Well, in all truth, Severus was rather cute when he was confused…

Anyway, the feast was definitely on her top ten list. The food was superb, everyone was happy and healthy once again, Dumbledore and Hagrid were back where they belonged, and the fact that Severus was holding her hand under the table didn't hurt either.

But the best part of it all was when the petrified students entered the hall. Everyone stood and applauded for them as they made their way to their seats. Rolanda couldn't help but laugh at the way Granger ran to Potter and Weasley yelling her head off about how they had solved it. Even more so as she watched the awkward exchange between Ron and Hermione. Right then and there she resolved that if they weren't together by fifth year, she would do something about it. _After all,_ she thought, glancing to where Albus and Minerva were laughing and sitting rather close to each other, _This matchmaking scheme would be over with soon enough, and it would end successfully; she was sure of it. _She'd need something to keep her occupied…

It was nearly four in the morning when the students were finally sent to bed. The teachers all made their way to the staff room for what Albus described as a 'debriefing.' Minerva merely raised her eyebrows when he said that. She doubted very much that he'd be able to get a serious conversation going with this lot. At least not tonight.

She was right. The 'debriefing' turned out to be a continuation of the party. It was loud and rambunctious, with bad music courtesy of Sarah who had weird taste and a rather potent punch thanks to Pomona. Sometimes Minerva had to wonder if being with teenagers day in and day out had affected her colleagues in some way. She was sure that this was not the way respected professors charged with the molding of young minds were supposed to act. Not at all. But all disapproving thoughts were pushed from her mind when Albus asked her to dance. This year had been an emotional roller coaster to say the least. She deserved some fun.

The rest of her night (Morning) was spent laughing and spinning around the dance floor in Albus' arms. Minerva wouldn't have changed a thing.

It was very late, or very early depending on your view, when Albus escorted Minerva to her rooms. They had a laugh watching each of the portraits reactions, which ranged from scandalized to pleased to angry to sleepy and confused and then back again. When they finally the entrance, Albus found himself more reluctant to part than ever.

"Well this is it."

"Yeah." Albus was mentally beating himself up. He was Albus Dumbledore, for Merlin's sake! Famous wizard, defeater of Grindlewald, Headmaster of a prodigious school for magic and the best he could come up with was 'yeah'. Pathetic.

"Goodnight then, Albus." Minerva rather disappointed, turned to enter her rooms.

Suddenly, Albus realized that this might be his only chance. Summoning all his Gryffindor courage, he grabbed her hand as she turned and instead, swung her to face him.

"Forgive me."

And then he kissed her.

No bells rang and no fireworks exploded (though had the Weasley twins known there probably would've been) but it was perfect. Everything that they wanted summed up into one moment. And when they broke apart, breathing heavily, they both realized that although things could not go back to the way they had been before, the future couldn't have been brighter. And neither could their smiles.

"I love you, and I always have."

Minerva beamed. "Good. Because I love you, and I always will."

**A/N: Ah, good ol' fashioned fluff. Does it get any better than that? I don't think so. Sorry for the angst-y bits that have been going on, but I feel it was important. Anyways, as this was officially THE END, I feel I should say goodbye, but I don't really want it to end yet. And so, I have a proposition. REVIEW AND TELL ME IF YOU WANT AN EPILOGUE. If not, well then, you've all been wonderful. Thank you to everyone who favorited this story or me, and every one of you guys who reviewed, they really helped me along. Oh and thanks to Molly, the story's biggest fan ever, and my numero uno beta. I LOVE YOU ALL—Sloane (lost logic)**

**Beta's Note: I think I've had as much fun as Sloane working on this. In the reviews that I know will come, be sure to tell Sloane I should beta all her work, because honestly, what would this story have been without my poem?-Molly (Poem-Yoda)**


	13. Epilogue yup, the actual end

**A/N: And so, do to popular demand (squeeee!): EPILOGUE! EPILOGUE! EPILOGUE! Woot! Man, I love you guys! I'm sorry it took so long, but hey, since my beta is on vaca, it could have been longer. But i figured you guys would be ok with a few (or alot) grammatical errors for it two weeks sooner. This is for every single one of you who reviewed this story. I'd put a list or something, but it's like 2 in the morning, so no.**

* * *

**Epilogue**

Rolanda sighed deeply as she walked through the grounds to Hogwarts. This year was her year to see the students on to the train, and as much as she liked summer, she hated this task with a passion. All the crying and hugging as if it was the last time they'd ever see each other.

She rolled her eyes at the very thought. They were all getting on the same train weren't they?

And then there was the sheer enormity of the task. Do you have any idea just how many students she had to cram on that train? A lot.

She sighed again.

She was going to miss the students anyway. They were messy, snotty, loud and obnoxious most of the time, but for ten months of the year they were hers. At least she had summer to look forward to; this year would be a welcome reprieve to say the least. And she knew by October next year she be wondering how she had ever missed this madhouse at all.

Rolanda took extra care to observe the stillness and quiet of the Great Hall as she made her way to the staff room once again. It was the same thing every year; the teachers all sat along the table while Dumbledore thanked them for another year, announced any staff changes (_always_ Defence Against the Dark Arts) and then they were free until the third week of August. The same thing year in and year out. What she wouldn't give for something, anything, to break up the monotony…

* * *

For once Minerva's thoughts couldn't have been farther from her students.

She and Albus had capitalized on the fact it wasn't their turn to see them off and were taking a stroll through now deserted gardens. In the few weeks that had passed the two gotten closer than ever. This was quite amazing when you thought about it, considering the two had been best friends for, well, ages.

And now walking through the beautiful gardens, holding hands with Albus, Minerva felt totally at peace.

Until he tugged her arm so hard she lost her balance and fell on top of him in the springy, damp grass.

"Ow!"

"Sorry!" Albus looked slightly abashed, "Its just Rolanda walked by, and well, I wasn't sure if we're telling people yet…"

Minerva smiled slightly. "It's ok." She snuggled in closer to him. "It's nicer back here, anyway."

Albus leaned over to kiss her but was thwarted at the last moment.

"Oh No! If Rolanda's back then we have to get to the staff room! They'll be wondering where we are."

"So?"

Minerva fixed him with a stern look. He sighed.

"Fine."

She struggled to her feet and offered her hand to help Albus, looking around when he took it but made no move to get up.

"What are you doing?"

He didn't answer but kept searching in the pockets of his robes with his free hand.

"Come on, Albus!" She sighed impatiently, "We mustn't be late!"

"Minerva…"

She turned quickly, somewhat concerned at the change in his tone of voice.

"Yes? We really must be go— Oh…"

Minerva's hands flew to her mouth in surprise, for the reason Dumbledore had been fumbling in his robes had suddenly become very apparent.

* * *

Albus Dumbledore was nervous. Well, actually, nervous would have been an extreme understatement. He was almost hyperventilating. Facing down evil wizards is one thing; being charged with the care and education of thousands of children every year is another; but this…this was just downright nerve-wracking.

So he stayed there balanced on one knee, hand outstretched with his great-grandmother's diamond glinting in his palm, sweating profusely and hoping greatly that he wouldn't some how pass out before she could answer.

"Minerva…" And then he blanked. He had had a whole speech, damnit! But this was a lot different than practicing it with Fawkes. He took a deep breath.

"Minerva, I love you. I always have, and well, I was hoping you would do me the honour of becoming my wife? I want to spend the rest of my life with you, wake up every morning to your beautiful face. And I know it'll be dangerous, and I understand if you want to wait or need—"

Minerva held up her hands to stop his babbling.

"Of course I will," silent tears were rolling down her face now. "I love you too Albus."

* * *

For the first time in her life, Sybil Trelawny felt smothered by her rooms. The heat she normally found comforting was suddenly oppressive. She decided to take a walk through the grounds before the annual end of the year staff meeting. Yes, a walk. Fresh air was good for you, or, at least, thats what she had heard...

She walked through the gardens, glad that she hadn't gone wandering through the corridors again. Sybil shuddered, trying to rid the image of Severus and Rolanda, well, there was no other word for it—snogging. She just hadn't been able to shake the memory yet, in fact she wondered if it would ever leave her. But this _had_ to be safer. She was certain of it.

Actually, Sybil had been steering clear of Severus and Hooch for a while now for her own safety. You see, Sybil had come to the conclusion that Severus Snape was, in fact, a vampire. It made sense, really; the dark clothing; the morbid sense of humour; the living in the dungeons; the death threats and that lovely way his robes billowed out around him…they all contributed to a very vampire-y aura. Not to mention his aversion to Seers. Vampires traditionally avoid all divination, considering them being dead and not having a future and all. It was the only logical explanation.

Although, she never could quite grasp what had attracted the dark, dashing vampire to the flying instructor of all people. Maybe he was fond of a certain blood type… Yes, that'd be it.

She heard a rustle is the tall grass beside her. Praying it wasn't what she thought it was, Sybil turned and looked (against her better judgment) to her right.

It wasn't the dashing enigma Severus Snape she found, but rather the debonair Dumbledore and —could it be? —Minerva McGonagall?

Dear Merlin! Was she the _only_ teacher not getting any?!

She stood, staring at the couple, until Dumbledore coughed. Then, mind racing and wondering why it was always her, she fled.

_I wonder what Filius is doing later…_

* * *

Hearing a choking noise behind her, Minerva broke away from Albus' embrace and twisted around. Sybil was standing behind Minerva and her new fiancée, with her mouth opened so wide it seemed that her jaw had been unhinged. She turned around to face Albus, seeking an idea, an excuse for what had just happened.

He merely coughed.

In any matter, the cough seemed to do the trick. Sybil's trance seemed to break; she turned and fled.

"I suppose we'll have to, erm, inform the staff now?" asked Albus.

Minerva rested her forehead against his. "I guess so."

"We can wait, my dear," Albus frowned. "We don't have to tell them."

Minerva shook her head and smiled reassuringly. "No, they're our friends. They deserve to know. And besides, it's best we tell them before someone else does."

Albus grinned. "Alright." He offered his arm to her. "Ready? I fear we have some explaining to do."

* * *

"They certainly have some explaining to do!" said Emily, for the fourteenth time.

"Calm down, Em. They'll be here," soothed Sarah, from her position beside Rolanda and Severus on the couch.

"Yes, yes. But where are they now?" Emily started pacing again. "I mean, what if Potter got the wrong monster, and the heir of Slytherin is still out there?"

Rolanda shook her head. "Come on, Em, how many monsters can this place possibly hold?"

"It depends on what size." Interjected Hagrid.

"Yes, well, as for where they are…" she raised her eyebrows.

"Why do you do that?! Always with the sexual allusions!"

"I didn't even say anything!" cried Rolanda.

"It's the eyebrows, dear." Sighed Severus, "They give you away."

Rolanda gave him an odd look as Sarah snorted with laughter. "You realize you just called her 'dear'? Oh, Severus, poor, poor Severus, where has your infamous severity gone?"

He coloured. "Did not!"

She smirked. "Oh yeah? Then why does Sybil look like she wants to thrash Rolanda?"

"…"

Sarah grinned. "I win. As for Rolanda's comment, she may be right."

"I am?"

"What?" yelped Emily, "They're together and nobody bothered to tell me?"

"Well, they haven't told anyone, but I'm sure something's happened."

Severus rolled his eyes. "I doubt it. Since when can people keep a secret in this bloody castle?" He glared at Trelawny who had migrated to the far corner and could no longer hear their conversation.

"Look at the signs, people!"

"What signs?" asked Emily.

"The romantic office dance; then the dancing at the party, very closely I might add; the periods over the past weeks where no one can find either of them; the way they lean in closer to each other at meals; the way his hand lingers when he brushes past her; not to mention the secret smiles and looks when they think no one is looking. You must've noticed."

Silence.

"I mean this in the nicest way possible, but Sarah, you are a _creep_."

Sarah blushed. "I am not! I'm just observant, that's all!"

Severus exchanged looks with Rolanda. "Observant? More like crazy stalker."

"I am not!"

"Are too."

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"AM NOT!"

"ARE TOO!"

"SIMMER DOWN, KIDS!" yelled Emily, whilst Rolanda looked on, bemusedly. "Minerva and Albus may be in grave danger! We need to—"

The banging of the door cut her off. There stood the objects of their worries, holding hands. Which they quickly dropped once they noticed people looking.

"See? I'm not crazy," whispered Sarah, triumphant.

"Shut up," Severus shot back, "You're still a stalker."

"All right," began Dumbledore, breaking up what was sure to have been the start of another shouting match. "Let's all take our seats and get started, shall we?"

* * *

Rolanda was bored out of her mind from the get go. Only her respect for Albus stopped her from taking a nap right there and then. Well, that and the table.

Do you realize how many generations of teachers had sat at the same table? There were so many stains in the wood that they had all blended together to form a blotchy masterpiece. Paired with the rings for thousands of cups and mugs, the effect was quite something. And how exactly had those burn marks gotten there?

There was no way in hell Rolanda was willing to put her face near that thing. Ew.

Instead she passed the time by making faces at the gruff old Care of Magical Creatures professor (whose name escaped her yet again), trying to make him laugh. Until he winked at her with his remaining eye and she realized that he thought she was hitting on him.

Then she turned her eyes to the completely whole Severus Snape sitting next to him. She stared wondering if he would notice. She studied the curve of his jaw line, the arch of his brows; half hoping he would look at her, half liking going unnoticed.

Suddenly he started waving a hand in front of his face, as if trying to get rid of a bothersome fly. How curious, she hadn't seen a fly…

"Rolanda!"

"_Rolanda!_"

"Hmm…fly?" She tore her eyes from Severus, puzzled.

Everyone was either laughing at her (like Sarah, Filius, and Gruff man with partial limbs) or looking worried for her sanity (like Severus, Poppy, Minerva and Emily)

Dumbledore was chuckling. "As much as I appreciate your dedication to your job, I fear I have one more announcement before you can go flying. Minerva?"

She stood beside him clasping her hands in front of herself nervously.

Wait, nervously?

Minerva McGonagall, the Scottish Storm, head of Gryffindor, and other assorted impressive things, nervous? It had to be bad. Like, we're-all-going-to-die, bad. Or, at least they've-decided-to-turn-Hogwarts-into-a-hotel-and-your-all-fired, bad.

"We've been keeping something from you all, and due to recent events," Minerva sent a particularly vicious look to Sybil and Rolanda felt a rush of understanding. "We have decided that it's time you ought to know."

_Oh no,_ _here it comes,_ thought Rolanda; _I'm way too young to die!_

"Minerva and I," Albus took her hand as he spoke, "are engaged."

Silence.

And then the explosion.

"ENGAGED?"

"Congratulations!"

"I _told_ you I'm not crazy!"

"Engaged? I didn't even know you were together!"

"Can I see the ring?"

"Eh mah gawd, it's, like, huuuugeee!"

"Sarah, as much as we like impressions, now is not a Celestina Warbeck kinda time."

"Dumbledore, old man, you finally took the plunge, eh?" The gruff man winked.

Hagrid shuffled froward, "Mr. Dumbledore, sir? As great a wizard as you are, if ya hurt her, I'll kill ya, sir."

"I assure you from the bottom of my heart, Hagrid, that if I do hurt her, you have full permission to kill me."

But it would be Rolanda's voice, and her voice alone that was to be her downfall.

"Where is Lockhart when you actually want him!?" She laughed, delighted at her friends' bliss. "Lost his memory, that's convenient. He's gonna be harder to collect from than Ludo Bagman."

"What do you mean?" asked Albus.

"Oh, well, see Gilderoy and I had a little wager."

Not seeing the danger or the vehement signals from the others to stop, she continued. "He said he could get any woman he wanted, and _I_ said that there was no way in hell that he could get Minerva to fall for…for…oh, shit."

The colour was rising in Minerva's cheeks. "You."

Rolanda shook her head.

"It was _you_."

"It was the others too!"

Minerva rounded on them.

"It was all Rolanda and Severus, I swear!" yelped Sarah, from where she was hiding behind Hagrid with Emily.

Now Albus turned towards Severus.

"Were you in on this?" He demanded.

"Well, yes."

"Good, then I'll curse you too!" yelled Minerva "So many weeks of that insufferable man stuck to me like glue! All because of your stupid bet! Rolanda you really done it this time!"

"It was for a good cause!" Protested Snape, weakly. "It got you together, didn't it?"

"We could have gotten here _without_ your meddling, thanks," snarled Minerva.

She and Albus raised their wands once more.

"Wait!" cried Poppy.

"_What?_"

"Just don't hurt them too bad, ok? I'd like to get home by next week."

"Thanks a lot," hissed Rolanda. _As if they need encouragement._

As the headmaster and deputy advanced, Rolanda's brain whirred at high speed, casting around for a reason not to be killed.

"Wait!" she shouted. "You wouldn't curse a pregnant woman would you?"

Severus fainted.

Poppy quickly revived him. Thankfully, he was all right.

"Whaddya mean, pregnant?" he asked, in disbelief.

Sarah was laughing again. "You got knocked up? Classic…"

Everyone else was staring at Rolanda's midriff, questioningly.

"No you're not," said Poppy after a moment.

Rolanda was sweating now; carefully she grabbed Severus' hand and slowly, very slowly, began to back away.

"Yes I am."

Poppy put her hands on her hips. "Rolanda Hooch, I have been a healer for thirty-two years, twenty of them here at Hogwarts. I know the symptoms, and you, my dear, are _not_ pregnant."

Rolanda felt the doorknob pressing into her back. Slowly she put her hand on it.

She shrugged. "Fair enough."

Rolanda swung the door open and tugged hard on Severus' arm, "RUN!"

Albus and Minerva pursued them, furiously.

What followed would, in later years, come to be known as the Great Chase of '93.

The portraits still talk about it.

Every once and a while, when subjects for gossip are few and far between, they'll tell each other the story of how the great Albus Dumbledore and Minerva McGonagall finally got together, how Severus Snape and Rolanda Hooch eluded capture for forty-eight hours before being ambushed in the kitchens whilst searching for food, and how two loves came to be all because of a glittery idiot and a little bet.

THE END

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**A/N: ok, now it's done. And I'm rather depressed. I can't believe it, my baby's all grown up…tearsob. Ah well, thanks for sticking with me guys! You've all been wonderful. And don't think this being over gets you off the hook! REVIEW! Tell me what you liked, what you hated, what was wrong, what was brilliant, I NEED TO GET BETTER! One more time, I love you all, keep reading— lost logic aka Sloane.**


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